It is now over fourteen years since my mother died. I find that very hard to believe.
I cried, at the mention, or thought of her, for five years after her passing.
There are times when I still miss her desperately.
I can remember her telling me the same thing, about her mother.
I guess, we never, ever, get over the loss or our mother, if we had a close relationship.
My Beloved Brother has just had a series of surgeries. Not related. But one of those 'patches' ~ or 'batches'~ which seem to attack us from time to time.
He is recovering, well, from his second surgery, which was less serious than the first.
He mentioned that he keeps 'smelling' our mother with him. In his vehicle. In his house, in the Hospital, both before, & after his surgery.
I know what he means, & I too 'smell' our mother in times of stress. Or even, in times of relaxed contemplation.
After our Mother had died, & I had returned to my home in Australia, I was driven, you might say, to plant growing things.
I was beyond the age to have babies.
I longed for living things. I longed for new creation.
I longed for a baby to cuddle. I would wish my children would produce more grandbabies, for me to cuddle, & confirm, the continuity of life.
I am told this is not unusual.
It is all about the primitive urge to produce life, to keep on living.
Reproduction. Such a Primitve urge. We really have little control over ourselves, if we think about it.
The Human Condition, seems bound to want to reproduce.
I planted pots with lots of plants. I grew from branches of wonderful plants existing in the garden. I had lovely success, & I rescued plants from 'Death Row'.
This Brunfelsia was one such rescue. I took it from a seedling in our rented garden.
I look at it now, beside this Strelitzia, which we bought, & planted, when it was very very small. How proud it seems now.
This strange & slightly Magical plant is flourishing in our garden. I cannot find the name of it, though I have searched the Internet. It is a very pretty pale pink & I love it for living in spite of me!!
Here it is beside another Brunfelsia, which a kind neighbour gave us, when we were redesigning our garden bank.