Roller Coaster.

Yesterday evening, someone did something so lovely for my Daughter J, I was really touched, & just so happy for her. She has a heart of gold, & deserves some good to come her way.


As she had been so sick during the day, she was not feeling very bright in the evening, & then a lovely opportunity came her way. She was still suffering from the headache, though it had diminished in intensity.

She was given a gift, & was almost overwhelmed. There really are some wonderful people in this world. The gift will make her life that little bit better.
Like all mothers, I was just so thrilled for her, & felt her happiness keenly. It put me on a great high, to see her so happy.

I came home feeling wonderful. A later phone call from her changed the mood instantly. Why do some people have to ruin the joy for others. What sort of spiteful anus jerk, would deliberately set out to spoil someone's pleasure. What do they get out of doing that? They must feel there is some bitter payoff for that sort of behaviour. Is it a feeling of power?

It is a form of abuse. Mental abuse. It is becoming more & more of a regular occurence. It breaks my heart. The change in the abuser's personality is very marked. It has been deteriorating for a while. In 8 years, it has been a gradual process. I hesitate to mention something such as this on a 'public' place. But it colours my life, as well as the lives of those I love.

I feel so helpless about it all. There really is nothing I can do. I intervened once, with positive results, on behalf of someone, who had no one else to go to bat for them.

I feel I can't interfere now, in this instance. The situation is different. But it still makes me feel ill. I hate injustice of any sort. I hate to feel so enraged on someone else's behalf.

I feel, to some extent, we are all a combination of our upbringing, & our own choices as we mature. What I find heartbreaking is to see patterns of mental, along with some physical, abuse being carried on into the next generation. Perhaps the person is a victim of their upbringing. But to acknowledge that may be the case, & then flatly refuse to seek or accept counsel for it, seems inexcusable to me.

My first instinct would be to walk away from such a person. It is not my choice, in this instance.

Because I never grew up with such things, I don't have answers, I suppose. I grew up without physical violence of any sort. One evening, a wider family discussion was going on, & someone said, "We all got hidings when we were kids, didn't we?"
I calmly said, "We never did."

There was a very loud silence. Then someone said, "Mum always said you were spoilt." Well, maybe, but I never beat my children, & was never comfortable with physical violence of any sort. As to mental cruelty, I think that can be more damaging than physical, because you cant always see the damage, and I feel it lasts far longer, with far deeper wounds.

****

But look!
We had a wonderful visitor! He is blonde & huge, & muscular, & just beautiful!
His name is Boof, & he is such a gorgeous natured young gent!
Honey was not exactly approving, but as long as she could sit on her Daddy's lap, she was prepared to accept he may be tolerable.

And he was more than willing to share his huge tongue with anyone who wanted!

Leo was banished! He would not play nice! "This is not fair! It is my yard! Why am I locked inside?" We were afraid he might deafen the neighbours with his protests, & poor Boof complained when his tail got nipped!

Here is all of Boof, & you can see what a truly lovely dog he is. A beautiful Golden Retriever. He has a sister called Zari, who is just beautiful too. She is older than Boof, & she is much smaller in stature. But she has an equally lovely nature.

*****

Sitting at the traffic lights, watching the pedestrians waiting to cross.

M " I see fishnet stockings & hot pants have made a comeback!"

Gom, glancing over, at the young girl, with shapely legs, & yes, fishnets, & hotpants. "Hmmn, yes."

As our Daughter J says, she has never seen her father 'ogle' a woman or girl, in all her life. Unlike another poisonous individual who shall remain nameless.

****

In the Mall, waiting to be served.

Gracious Lady. "Oh Hello! Do I know you from somewhere?"

M, "Nooo, no I don't think so."

GL. "But you look so familiar. I am sure I know you from somewhere."
M, "No I am sure I have not met you before." Thinks, 'but you look so nice, I wish I did know you!'

****

Bread, If.