Wednesday, December 16

The Hideous Case of the Nightshirt.

Long ago, and far away, in another Country, (& another era, I might add) in the early 70’s, in fact, men & women wore vastly different clothing, to what they are prepared to appear in public in,  today.

Long floppy, floral patterned shirts were the flavour of the day for men. The sleeves were slightly full, the collars had long rounded ends.Paisley was big, for both men and women, back in the Day. 

The preferred whisker, or facial hair look,  was a moustache and/or a beard, to go with the longer flowing locks. Not Mullets, you understand, but just a longer look. Something resembling the Band members of  “America”, for instance. Or maybe Arlo Guthrie, Definitely flared jeans or trousers for the women, and the men. Both sexes favoured platform shoes.


We had a friend who sold shoes for a living. A Sales Rep? I am not sure, as they changed the title of the purveyors of the goods, to improve the image… or something.  He would appear at my door, bearing his own ‘Boil-in-the Bag’ lunches, & he would proceed to prepare his lunch, in my kitchen, while displaying his newest shoe collections. Of course, he sold me many pairs of gorgeous shoes, but they were all at discount prices, & who could resist a heavily moustacheoed man, who was happily married to one’s great friend? Who proffered heavily discounted shoes because I happened to take the display size, & so ….. well the rest is history.

Gom, and the other, lovely wife,  were aware of the periodic luncheon visits & had no qualms or worries about sisnister or devious intent. We were all very good friends & spent weekends together as well as many mid-week social gatherings, to do with either the sale of shoes or the sale of Alcohol associated products. Never a dull moment in the ‘70s, I must say. And, surprise surprise no hanky panky ‘70s style shenanigans! Just great friends.

When I married Gom, he never wore pyjamas, nor did I care. My mother was somewhat horrified, & told me she had been disgusted to find, upon marrying my father, he did not own a pair of pyjamas! I, of course, laughed about it with Gom, when we married, & worried not at all.

Some years later, when we now had children to think about, Gom decided perhaps a nightshirt might be bearable for him to wear to bed. His BIL had told him he had some, & found them most comfortable. Being as the the budget was tight- (No it was not entirely because of the latest shoe acquisitions!) – I decided to purchase cotton seersucker fabric , & make some night shirts. Gom demanded they be front buttoning, so that is what I made.  They proved to be most comfortable  & successful for his sleeping comfort.

The time came when our street became designated as a ‘Bus Route’. We were not pleased, but happily concluded the Bus Stop would not be outside our house. WRONG!

We begged & pleaded, but the stop would not be moved one way either side. The sound of the idling bus kept us awake at night, to say nothing of the stench of Diesel fuel. Our protests were like gnats f@rts to the bus company. We were victims, we felt.

We did, however, discover, that there was a maximum idling time outside our house, before the bus motor had to be turned off. If it was over x amount of minutes it was over the limit.

I went off on a holiday to the North, taking our Children, as was the way of our lives then.

Imagine my horror upon our return to be told that there had been an “Incident”.

Said Incident had involved the bus revving his motor for much longer than the ‘allowed’ motor revving period. Gom, alone & rather disgruntled, no doubt, had leapt from his lonely bed, & stumped out, in high Dudgeon, wearing a flimsy front buttoning Night shirt, to shout abuse & ire at the hapless driver of this bus “Idling’ outside our very door, so to say.

I have no doubt there were buttons which had become unfastened, as apparently the Driver was struck with some type of helpless laughter, at the appearance of this seersucker-clad… oddity, -no doubt flashing, as he ranted & raved , jumping up & down to make his points, (so to say) incoherently at the driver, whilst inadvertently displaying his ‘jewels’.

Needless to say, on my return, I was quite horrified at the thought of this scene. I found many reasons not to confront this bus driving person, nor did I venture forth when a bus was stationary outside our address. Nor did I ever use such bus in any of my travels.

I am sure the image of the Nightshirt-wearing-house-owner, is permanently burned into some bus driver’s eyeballs. I hope he enjoys a hearty laugh about it all!



marigold jam said...

What a hoot! LOved the story but does GOM know you are broadcasting it to the world?!!!

Jane x

Pauline said...

Why is it when we are at our most serious, we often appear at our most hilarious? Poor GOM!

persiflage said...

Amazing scenes! Just think, if it had happened today, the driver would have had a digital camera - and would have used it, and posted the evidence in all its glory on his blog.

Jennifer said...

Oh dear, Meg! you definitely owe me a new keyboard after that story.

By Hoki Quilts said...

Oh my goodness, you have written the tale so well that images bounced into my brain.. I'm sitting here laughing out loud and my poor animals are watching me, the thought bubble is she's lost the plot. Thankyou for a hearty laugh.

Emma said...

Fabulous story! It reminds me of my own husband, pursuing the miscreant who shone a torch through our bedroom window, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts.

Kate quilts... said...

LOL! My husband is an ex-nightshirt wearer. So glad this never happened to us.

The Sagittarian said...

Oh how gorgeous! On a dare once I raced out to ur gate in my birthday suit, only to startle a group of late night walkers...however, they didn't reappear the following night so I assume they didn't like what they saw!
As for the 'boil in the bag' my favourite was the fish in parsley sauce...

José Ramón said...

A very interesting blog.

Greetings from creativity and imagination photos of Jose Ramon

Anonymous said...

Goat Eye Syndrome is characterized by eyes afflicted with horrific horizontal pupils similar to those of cephalopods such as octopi, squid, or cuttlefish. The pupils of these beasts are approximately the shape of a kidney bean, but instead of dividing the eye vertically, in the manner of noble, trustworthy beasts such as tigers, bobcats, and snakes, the GES pupils transfix the eye horizontally. This is disgusting. The only other type of animal to display such disgusting, vomit-inducing eyes are the previously mentioned cephalopods (which have a long association with death from the murky depths and Cthulhu) and Kermit the Frog, who is a felt puppet created by Jim Henson, and should not be considered an example of an accurate representation of frog physiology
Bert Reeto

Selina Kingston said...

You are so funny! That has really made me laugh x

Anonymous said...

Oh too funny. I adore this post. I also adored the 70s look, think Burt Reynolds in his heyday. Oh yum!

Jet said...

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Merry X'mas !

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Anonymous said...

A very Merry Christmas to you.

Teodo said...

Merry Christmas Meggie.
ciao ciao Linda

Warty Mammal said...

Stopped by to wish you a happy Christmas!

Gads, what a hysterically funny story! You're a brilliant person.

Marianna said...

Merry Christmas! Health and happiness to you and your family!

Thank you for filling 2009 with your wonderful stories!


Isabelle said...

Happy Christmas time from me too.