Sunday, April 17

Tussles with..".Bastards Inc"

I suspect, we have all had our tussles, with 'Bastards Inc'. You know the ones. They seal the tops on the small plastic pots/jars of "Fruit Jellies" ~ supposedly for children to take to school, to use as snacks at Recess, or whatever they currently call the morning/afternoon  tea break.
It seems to me, no person with average intelligence, or strength, can open these sealed treasures, without the aid of a blowtorch, or a superhuman thumb!!

'Bastards Inc' design the seal for the tops of 'Child Proof' bottles of pills, that must be accessed by the aged to keep their lives in continuity, and prevent the 'children' from access to same. If the Elderly could only open them, that is!! I am sure the young could open them as easily as a hot knife might cut butter!!

One of the worst 'Bastard's Inc" inventions, is the telephonic system that uses 'Voice Recognition'.  You get asked questions, and you are asked to reply, (" I will understand your answers"  the disembodied automated voice intones,) with a choice of several 'responses'. Too bad, if your answer does not tally with one they expect to 'hear'. The stupid machine keeps saying "I am sorry, I did not hear your answer" and the stupid question will be repeated. Finally, when you are screaming into the phone, ~always remembering not to utter obscenities~ you may, if you are lucky, be transferred to a 'live' person.
I use 'live' here with quotations, because they, also, may be automated. They claim to be 'live' but the truth of this is often doubtful. The responses seem so far removed from human understanding.

Oh Yes! 'Bastards Inc' are very much alive, and, I suspect, hoping we will all give up, and Abandon All Hope.

'Bastards Inc' inhabit our daily lives, with increasing prevalence. I suspect they are hoping their stealth and silent takeover tactics will not be recognized.
How sad I feel at the realization that this must be true.

The false lulling into acceptance of their infiltration. The meek acceptance of statements, that,  upon later analysis, seem to be nonsensical, and totally irrational.
All the work of insidious 'Bastards Inc".

Here, is the disdainful Morty, who would choose to lie about, in seemingly carefree ~ or should that be, arrogant~ abandonment.

He is one very strange animal, and is not in the least inclined to be affectionate, or cuddly. Should one attempt any type of closeness, he is just as likely to attack, with bites, and scratches, as purrs, or even acceptance of attentions.

He has adopted our Son's stored Leather chair as his preferred daytime hideaway.
As our son says, he has "Mortified" the chair, with a nest of shed hairs, and his daily slumber.

Ah, the Mortification of an adopted feline, who is so affiliated with 'Bastards Inc'.!!

However, I still love him, unconditionally, and will continue dialogue with him, and the feeding of him, upon his loud demands.
There is no doubt that cats command their own agendas and their own proud indifference to the wishes of their 'staff'!


Angie said...

Oh Meggie, you are such a treasure!! LOL and I couldn't agree with you more about the whole world being stolen and taken over entirely the "Bastards, Inc." LOL I hope you are in better health and that things are settling down some with GOM. Sending heart-felt love and hugs. :)

Jerry said...

I have a running battle with the absurdities that I keep encountering. The problem is, they are winning.

Thimbleanna said...

You're so funny Meggie. You'll be happy to know that Bastards Inc. is a worldwide corporation, as we have them here too. It seems like most of the time, the only thing we can do is shake our heads in amazement. And Lucky Morty that you take such wonderful care of him!

VioletSky said...

It is good to read your funny rants again!
I once had to take a bottle of cough syrup back to the pharmacy to get them to open it. The eventually tried 2 other bottles before I could go home for my every 4 hour swig. I never bothered putting the cap back on.

Catalyst said...

Well said, Meggie.

The Sagittarian said...

Great post, and I would add the people who sell you a DVD at a shop mmiles out of your way and when you get home you discover they haven't 'unlocked' the device that lets you open the damn thing!!

ancient one said...

Add to that the Drug Store that automatically refills your meds each month... Getting there to pick up two prescriptions ordered the night before and the girl comes to the window with the $100 tube of cream that you just bought last month... After straightening that out, she brings one of the meds you ordered but tells you the other is on order and you have to come back tomorrow.
I will have to give it to the "Boost" people for redesigning their product so it is easier to open.
Loved this post.