Friday, June 17

Solace

I am not sure why I named this post Solace.
At present, there is no solace, other than I am a scooped out hollow, which is frozen. Every now & then a hole appears in the ice, and it flows out as hot scalding tears.

I wanted to write to thank you all for your wonderful kind words of support and your love and kind thoughts. I wish I could thank you all personally.
I have not been much on the computer. My days are often blurs.

I have had a small stay in hospital, a mystery infection of some sort, but now 'they' tell me I am to have cardiac investigation. Like Les, I was glad to get out of Hospital.


I feel I am too raw to write about much.
I will just say, I have double grief, as little Leo is no longer with me. I cannot write about that for now, and I grieve as much for both of my "Leos". Some time I will mingle their ashes and they will always be together.


Gom's favourite quilt I gave him. He spent his last days constantly wrapped in it's vibrant, warm love.



Here he is with his beloved mate.



He gave me these beautiful roses, to thank me for looking after him. We had yellow roses for him at our private goodbye.



 Here he is with his beloved Daughter, on her wedding day. He was so proud he was well enough to walk her down the path to be married. He was so ill, and so tired, he did really well.



Here we are together, just before I took him home to put him to bed. This is the last pic of us together.



This is where it all began, 45 years ago. 

There seems to be no solace for me, at present.
My Beloved Brother and Sister came from New Zealand and spent 6 days with me. I did so appreciate their visit. Family are a type of solace, I know.


Scott Joplin, Solace

36 comments:

ancient one said...

I had no idea you had been in the hospital. And the double dose of grief with Leo, too. I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you. XOXO

By Hoki Quilts said...

You know it's going to take time and each day taken with baby steps until you are able to cope. I can't imagine the double grief that you are suffering plus ill health but do know that your on line friends are here to chat with most days,
hugs
Miche'le

Ali Honey said...

Dear Meg, I think you are doing well. Those tears are so necessary. Cry all you need to.
So sorry wee Leo is gone too, they were so special to each other maybe it is no surprise they both departed so closely in time.
You will be able to keep Gom's beautiful quilt you made him forever.
I am so glad the NZ contingent spent time with you, " Kiwi Girl."
Sending love and hugs your way, Ali.

quiltmom said...

Sending you a warm hug dear Meggie-
He would have loved your post and felt your love.
It is a beautiful quilt- So glad to hear that you had some family from NZ with you too.
Warmest regards,
Anna

Jennifer said...

Meggie, Les and Leo are together looking after each other, I'm sure. So glad you have had your family with you at this sad time. Wrap yourself up in Les' quilt and feel the love from him.

marigold jam said...

You have been in my thoughts so much so it was good to "see" you again. The grief you are suffering will of course take its time - how could it not after so many years together? - but brighter days will come I know. So sorry to hear that you too have been in hospital - oerhaps it was not so surprising that your heart was "broken" but hopefully the investigation will find nothing major wrong. If you ever need someone to "talk" to about how you feel just write to me. Wish we could all do something to help but if just being here helps then know that your friends are here and willing yuou onwards.

Connie said...

I have no profound words of wisdom to offer at this most tender time but I do send warm thoughts and many cyberhugs. I wish good things to come your way. Bless you, Friend.

fifi said...

oh, this makes my heart break. I so wish there was something I could do for you.
Sending you a big hug, and thoughts, oh its just so sad.

Cathi said...

Oh, my -- you are having to deal with so much all at once. My heart goes out to you! Gentle hugs and wishes for peace and health for you!

Angie said...

Oh dear God, Meggie, I am so so very sorry and soooo sad to hear that Leo crossed the Bridge too. And you've been in hospital tooo!!!!! Oh my dear heart, I wish I could be there with you, with you and Honey. The pictures of you and GOM and your daughter, they are just beautiful. You and Honey are in my heart and on my mind. I'm sending warmest of quilted hugs to you both, dear Meggie, and prayers to whatever Gods there are that you will have peace. Love, Angie

Catalyst said...

It is so good to read your blog and see those lovely photos again, Meggie. You have many, many friends online and off. I count myself lucky to be one of them.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have thought of you often in the past few days and was glad to see you here in the land of blog. I have no words of wisdom, just want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Floss said...

I wish I could offer you more than words of comfort. you will be included in my prays.

Tracey Petersen said...

I am so very sorry for the sadness you are feeling right now. Be kind to yourself.

Katie said...

You know I'm thinking of you. I hope all the love that's surrounding you will start to seep in and fill some of the hollows.

Thimbleanna said...

Oh Meggie, I'm so sorry to hear about Leo now too. I hope that it will get a little bit better with each passing day. XOXO....

lgsquirrel said...

I am so sorry to hear that Leo has also passed on but what a wonderful post for both Les and Leo. And what a wonderful achievement of 45 years together, the happy memories, the family. May you have peace in your heart and feel God's love surround you.

Pauline said...

Come here for solace when you can. You're in the thoughts of all your readers.

Finn said...

Dearest Meggie, there are absolutely no words that serve at in times such as these. The ache, the pain, the sadness is profound. I know it reaches to our core and leaves us shattered. Over time you will be able to start putting those pieces back together, but knowing there will always be an empty space or two. The reassembled parts will close around those awful homes and cradle them. It will be very tender for a long, long time. There is no need to fix that. Be as gentle with yourself as you can, hugs those furry mates as much as possible. That soft fur is great for absorbing tears. The pictues areabsolutely beautiful, love those of the two of you, early and later. You've had a treasure in him, the GOM, smile through your tears and know how loved you both were and are. Sending BIG hugs across the water, Finn

VioletSky said...

this is a beautiful tribute post to Les and Leo. I am so sorry that you are enduring all this. I hope you are surrounded by many loving arms and hearts.

Tanya said...

My eyes tear as I read about your hard times... I wish all of us could gather around you and take turns holding you.

Mary said...

Read this on my phone on Friday but could not comment but have come by tonight to let you know how much you are loved and how sad I am for you,

xxx

Isabelle said...

Oh Meggie, I haven't been blog visiting much recently for various reasons - well, only one, really - busyness - and am so sorry to learn of Les's death. I never realised, last time I visited, that it was likely to be so soon.

Many many internet hugs for you. I grieve with you. I'm so glad you were with him when he died.

Very very sad.


(And Leo too?)

The Sagittarian said...

One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Hugs to you Meggie, have been thinking about you and hoping to see you here again. Love. xx

Sheila said...

Look after yourself Dear Meggie, I'm sorry to hear you are not well.
So sad to read about Leo, but GOM and his pal are together, and perhaps that's as it should be.
I think the last photo of the two of you together radiates the love between you. It's beautiful.
Sending you big gentle hugs...
xox

Molly said...

So sorry to hear all this sad news Meggie. Haven't been much on blogger of late so came to know of it all just now. Glad Les is finally at peace, with little Leo to keep him company, and that you have the love and support of your family and friends. A big hug from here, and most of all I wish you peace and serenity.

Tanya Brown said...

Thinking of you, Meggie.

Jellyhead said...

Checking in on you Meggie, to let you know you are in my thoughts. Hold on. Solace will start to come soon, little by little, until it all feels that bit easier to bear.

xoxo Jelly

utah chemical peels said...
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angelsroy33 said...

I can't tell you how much I think of you and wish I could take away your pain and grief. It hurts me to know that you are in so much pain, and I can't do anything to help. Please know that you are in my thoughts every day. I thought I had it rough and then I read your blog, and it put things into perspective even tho things are still hard for me in my life. Thinking of you.

mrwriteon said...

Deepest condolences my friend. Not at all an easy time for you.

Marja said...

Oh Meggie I send you lots of hugs and love. So much grief, so much to bear. Take care and I hope the good memories you have may give you a bit of relief in your pain.
Take care Thinking of you, marja

velcro said...

Oh Meggie I'm so awfully sorry to hear your sad news. A big hug from across the water and hope that solace will come to you
xxx

Molly said...

Thinking of you Meggie. Hope all is well.

Jellyhead said...

More hugs coming your way Meggie .... thinking of you and hoping you are holding up ok.

xoxo

caramaena said...

You're in my thoughts Meggie. Hugs to you.