It seems that life is an endless flow, of ebbs and tides, that engulf me unexpectedly. I know they are there, and I know they will happen, but I never seem to see them coming.
The huge tidal waves wash over me, with their seemingly random swells.
I am always surprised, when I wash up upon the shore, and, filled with sand, and grit, and seaweed, I realise I am still alive.
I have noticed how some people, at first encounters, seem to be friends, and then they become... well, not so friendly, even though you had previously thought they liked you. And, indeed, you had regarded them as a 'friend'.
There enters a 'tone' or an 'air' to their responses to you.
At first, you think it is your imagination.
Then you slowly realise, they mean the slightly muted barbs, and thinly disguised, small insults.
You wonder what you have done, to bring on this apparent dislike.
You agonise over what small slight, or insult you may have unknowingly given.
Finally you know, it is not you, or your problem. It is their choice, and their problem, for whatever reason they choose.
It is quite liberating to choose, to disregard their choices, and move on with your life.
After all, a friend is someone who likes you.
There have been some wonderful Support/Care Workers my Son has had in past weeks. One lady in particular, was very intrigued by Son's juicing of fresh vegetables. She was amazed at how lovely the celery/carrot/beetroot/ginger juice smelled. She did decline to taste, but it may be because it is rather expensive. Vegetables just dont get cheaper!
We wish we could grow our own, but our land does not lend itself to gardening. Not that Son can do it now, and neither can I. If we had flat land, we could have no-dig garden beds, but alas, that is not to be, as it is all downhill! In more ways than one!
At last, for me, a friendly GP, who agrees with me not wanting to take drugs to keep some mythical 'quality' of life. I am so glad to have met him, and found him sympathetic to my views, and beliefs.
Drug companies seem to have menacing influence on the beliefs of all of us, that we need these drugs to survive. Well, NO we dont. I feel they may prolong life, but at what cost to quality of life?
Of course the Drug companies don't care about quality- they are all about profit.
"My Goodness. Let us keep this corpse 'alive and breathing', so we can continue to reap our profit from their medications."
Ok rant over.
I see the Rolling Stones are planning another Tour.
Good Luck to them. Love most of their music, so choose for yourself which song you like the best.
The huge tidal waves wash over me, with their seemingly random swells.
I am always surprised, when I wash up upon the shore, and, filled with sand, and grit, and seaweed, I realise I am still alive.
I have noticed how some people, at first encounters, seem to be friends, and then they become... well, not so friendly, even though you had previously thought they liked you. And, indeed, you had regarded them as a 'friend'.
There enters a 'tone' or an 'air' to their responses to you.
At first, you think it is your imagination.
Then you slowly realise, they mean the slightly muted barbs, and thinly disguised, small insults.
You wonder what you have done, to bring on this apparent dislike.
You agonise over what small slight, or insult you may have unknowingly given.
Finally you know, it is not you, or your problem. It is their choice, and their problem, for whatever reason they choose.
It is quite liberating to choose, to disregard their choices, and move on with your life.
After all, a friend is someone who likes you.
There have been some wonderful Support/Care Workers my Son has had in past weeks. One lady in particular, was very intrigued by Son's juicing of fresh vegetables. She was amazed at how lovely the celery/carrot/beetroot/ginger juice smelled. She did decline to taste, but it may be because it is rather expensive. Vegetables just dont get cheaper!
We wish we could grow our own, but our land does not lend itself to gardening. Not that Son can do it now, and neither can I. If we had flat land, we could have no-dig garden beds, but alas, that is not to be, as it is all downhill! In more ways than one!
At last, for me, a friendly GP, who agrees with me not wanting to take drugs to keep some mythical 'quality' of life. I am so glad to have met him, and found him sympathetic to my views, and beliefs.
Drug companies seem to have menacing influence on the beliefs of all of us, that we need these drugs to survive. Well, NO we dont. I feel they may prolong life, but at what cost to quality of life?
Of course the Drug companies don't care about quality- they are all about profit.
"My Goodness. Let us keep this corpse 'alive and breathing', so we can continue to reap our profit from their medications."
Ok rant over.
I see the Rolling Stones are planning another Tour.
Good Luck to them. Love most of their music, so choose for yourself which song you like the best.
9 comments:
I am so glad to read that there are better things happening in your life, and that you and your son are recovering. It has been such a hard road for you both.
I agree about the drugs - I did not want anti-depressants or such like either, and wanted recovery to proceed at its own pace. (Although occasional tranquillisers were useful while things were very stressful.)
My grandchildren and I love to juice fruit and vegetables and love the flavour a small amount of fresh ginger gives to the mixture.
I wonder if the Rolling Stones take medicinal drugs? I remember seeing them in concert in - oh, must have been 1965 when I was young and slender - sigh. Your sympathetic GP sounds worth cultivating.
Ah yes, the friend business. I also swore it wouldn't happen to me, and oh yes it did. Some step forward and are dear lifetime friends, and others? Well, they step back further and further and then they are gone. That is ok, because the little group left is the one which will sustain you through anything, Meggie. Let the others vanish.
And hooray for a GP with heart and ears to listen and understand. The drug companies have a great deal to answer for. Love and hugs, my friend.
Friends are many and varied some for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. We cannot keep up with all the friends we make in a lifetime it would be just too time consuming and some we must just let go but it is hard when it seems that someone we thought was a true friend is unkind or seems to wish to hurt us. Let them go and concentrate on the ones who really care about you I say! I am with you on the drugs issue and am glad you have found an understanding doctor - I have one too and all I ask usually is a dose of reassurance and I'm happy to go on my way again!! Hope you son is making progress and managing to keep fairly optimistic? I think of you often and appreciate your e-mails.
Friends seem to come and go. Real friends will always be close. They seem to know when to be there. The others ...... I used to worry over the slights of others and wonder what I may have done to cause it. Don't anymore. The same for family members who would pretend to like me if i had something they found to be useful. It is just not worth the angst.
I take medication for my bi-polar condition and it is expensive. But, maybe it helps to keep those who cross my path alive.
A compatible GP is a treasure, so I hope they stay near you for some time.
My Best Wishes to you and your son, I hope he is adjusting and able to look forward. Hugs from Ali.
Ebb and Flo describe life so well... Today, I am waiting on facebook to hear that our next grandson is here. Could be anytime now.. I'm excited!!
Husband just ran out into the front yard... all the goats are out... He's mad !!
Hope you have a great day !!!!
Ah, to learn how to just drift with the ebb and flow and the occasional chance to surf the big wave! Sending you positive and good wishes.
Good news about the sympathetic GP. Don't worry anymore about drifting friends. You can't change their minds, and you can't make up their minds. It's a relief finally, to let it all go, to let others do what they will, knowing it's not your problem.
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