Wednesday, June 27

Grammar, plus Etiquette..

My mother was a stickler for 'correct Grammar'.
As kids, I think we thought she was being weird, and over controlling.
Secretly, we used to say,"Who cares?"

However, as life has moved along, I now give her much repsect, for her teaching, and her wisdom.

She purely did abhor, "I seen" "I done" "you was" and "we was".

One of her pet dislikes was a man, ignorantly, in her eyes,  wearing a hat, indoors.
Ultimate disrespect in her eyes.

Now, I am inclined to agree.
 It seems so 'rude. to my eyes, to see a man wearing a hat indoors, and in company. An old fashioned notion I know, but still valid to my observation. (what is he hiding... his baldness, his ugliness, his lack of confidence??) He is allowed all of these feelings, but he must feel inadequate in some way? Or not?

Then there is the 'man with hands in pockets'- trouser pockets to be exact. I have no idea why my mother found this to be so offensive, but she was rather horrified to see Prince Charles with his hands in his pockets, on public occaions.
She felt is to be an utter insult. The insult was directed to whom, I have no idea. But nonetheless that is what she felt, and believed.

Societies acceptances, and beliefs alter constantly, and I feel this is a good thing.
But occasionally my mother channels through me, and I feel insult at certain behaviours.
I do laugh about it, all the same.
After all, who will care in 100 years??

Sorry Mum. It wont be anyone we know.


ancient one said...

We were raised with NO manners.. (learned what we knew at school).. My dad didn't want us to say yes mam, no sir, or please. (I guess his military experience had something to do with the not saying sir or mam,) but the please part? He said we sounded like we were begging... so it was just yes or no. I always thought the person with the manners was respectful sounding. We just had to learn to do what daddy said. He taught us to behave. LOL

Laurie said...

I do agree with your Mother on certain aspects of your post .... but I feel manners seem to be a thing of the past .. as a women I don't expect different things than I would do for anyone be they male or female ...but I do love it when a man holds the door or gives some small though to a womans safety etc Manners are not dead just not in the forefront at present ... may be they will come back I do hope so.... Hugs Laurie

Ali Honey said...

Good grammar , good manners will always be appreciated by me.

Anonymous said...

I knows what ya mean about the correct grammar but its exactly how my wife and I communicate with each other. In front of peoples, we speaks proper but not when we is alone.

Wife: "What you doing?'
Me: "What you meaning?"
Wife: Why hand in pocket and hat on head?
Me: I is cold.
Wife: You no cold. You disrespectful.
Me: No, cold I is.

Actually, we blame Yoda and Charlie Chan for teaching us speaks dis way.

Kitty said...

I have always been pleased when, at parents' evenings at schools, teachers have commented on my children's good manners. I think it's so important to say please and thank you. And to consider the sensibilities and sensitivities of others. I can't bear rudeness, and don't care if I'm old fashioned in that respect.

More power to your mother! x

Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

Glad your mother didn't see my picture!

Pauline said...

When a culture (and an era's) etiquette changes, there is always an overlap. The older members of a society remember what was taught to them, the younger members rebel. Nothing rolls along smoothly; there's always friction between the two segments. I read about a time when it was considered indecent for a woman's ears to show! Perhaps it's the lack of respect we mourn rather than the gesture that we feel indicates it.

Anonymous said...

Sounds right to me.

*Sheila* said...

We were taught manners too. I tried to instill the same into my children, but my husband wasn't taught manners and he used to find it amusing. We had many fights over it, but now in his senior years, and after much nudging he is very mannerly and even corrects the grandkids when they slip up.
Grammar too is a bone of contention, but with so many young people using the wrong words etc, it has become accepted as normal.
Heaven knows if the language will be recognizable in a hundred years!
hugs xx