Tanya has tagged me to do the :Gotta Get 'em Goals" list.
"The rules are that one needs to "list and write about the top 5 to 10 goals that you gotta get so you can truly say you have achieved your wildest dreams in life. These have to be your best, most exclusive, and over-the-top goals that you can pick off your goals list."
As a lot of my life/lives have been lived, I have had some very different dreams, & goals along the way. I am not quite sure how to do this list. I have been pondering it for some days.
Do I go with past, realised goals?
Or do I go with new, unrealised goals?
I think I will settle for a bit of both.
Coming from a broken marriage, I suppose I gave my utmost to try to stay married, & have a happy marriage. As we are approaching 41 years together I suppose it could be said that goal has been achieved. We have certainly had our share of ups & downs, & no one thought it would last, as we are very different people, from quite different upbringings. Had anyone told me I would have spent a great deal of time working with my husband, I would have said "Impossible". But somehow we made it work. So I count that as a goal achieved.
I strove to be a good & loving mother to my children. They tell me they had wonderful, happy childhoods. We did a lot of things together with them. I was rather a non joiner as a child- never picked for sports teams..which suited me down to the ground! I tried to encourage my children to think for themselves & not to feel pressured to be 'the same' as everyone else. If they wanted to play sport, I encouraged them, but if they didnt, well, that was also fine by me. I always tried to be fair, & possibly hugged & kissed them too much. My own mother was not demonstrative when I was a child, so I guess I overcompensated with my own children. And now I am a grandmother, I overindulge my grandchildren - but not too much. I try not to undermine their parents.
3. A Sense of Joy.
This one is hard to explain, but I think it has always been my goal to see, or find a sense of joy in each day. The small things, like a flower, a child's smile, a patch of colour. Notes of music, a pat from a loved one. The small hand of a child, reaching up to hold my hand. Two dogs that make our lives filled with love & the joy of living that only dogs have. All that is going to come out sounding sappy, but it is a daily goal.
A sense of contentment with my lot, is a recent goal I think. When I was younger, I would 'want' things. I view things from a different perspective now that I am older. I can see how lucky I really am. We have our own home, we have warmth & airconditioning for the horrible hot summers. We have plenty to eat, drink. Clothes to wear. Friends to share our good fortune. Family who I love dearly.
5. Self Comfort.
Now this one will sound stupid, perhaps. But most of my life I felt not quite comfortable with myself. Too fat. Too thin. Too unfit. Too spotty. Too much hair. Not enough hair. No curls. Too many curls.
Now, ..oh the liberation of stopping worrying if I am too fat, too old, too unfit, too picky. Now I just go with the flow. I dont worry about 'what others will think'. Someone once told me, to be so obsessed with 'what others will think of me' is just a form of vanity & arrogance. I can see the wisdom of that now. Most people are so busy thinking about themselves, they dont worry about me at all. And some days, they might be glad they are not me, or dont look like me, so that will be a benefit to others! I can be seen as a shining example of 'how not to be'.
6.A New Car.
Now here is an old goal. Once our employer used to give us the use of his shiny red Jaguar car, every time he went overseas. We loved to have the use of it, the luxury of it's lovely leather seats, to ride about in it's comfort. GOM promised me that one day, we would have a shiny new car. And one day we did. It was shiny & red, & it could hold 6 children & 3 dogs, & it was a large station wagon, & it was truly a wild goal, to have actually reached. I am ashamed to say, I loved that car. I loved to drive it fast along the straight country roads. I loved that it was so comfortable, so new, so ...OURS. We sold it when we came over here to live, & I dont get sentimental about cars now. I just remember the lovely new red car we once had. And I feel glad we had it.
I always had goals to travel, & over the course of my life, I have travelled a lot. I still have a goal, to travel to Canada one day. Who knows if I ever will. It doesnt seem possible, it is a wild goal to have. But strange things can happen, & if you dont have a dream, you cant have a dream come true.
These are old goals, which I pretty much conquered early in my life. As I am left handed, & my mother was not, I got told quite a lot that I was 'cack handed' & I was awkward. Perhaps it made me more determined to learn how to knit crochet, & sew. I even taught left handed children how to crochet, & a left handed neighbour. I was just a little disappointed my children & grandchildren are not left handed. I am proud to be left handed, & DONT regard it as a handicap!
My list of goals perhaps seems selfcentred & small. But I cant solve the world's problems. I cant feed the starving.
I try to recycle as much as I can, in my little world. I try not to waste. I try to make others feel better, or feel good about themselves.
I try to be positive, a daily goal for me, having suffered almost numbing bouts of depression all my life.
I try to bring a ripple of hope, from my small drops of hope for others.
How does one write all that without sounding like some fatuous twit??
Sometimes it is much easier to hide behind idiocy, & laughter.
Thursday, April 19
Tanya has tagged me to do the :Gotta Get 'em Goals" list.