I have to break out.
I can no longer wear the muzzle, of politeness.
Just reporting conversations... or fractions, thereof..
"What the hell are they thinking? Why would some female 'reporter' shove a microphone in front of a shocked survivor, from devastating, life-stealing fires, & say "Why do you think you survived?" The woman appeared to almost shatter, or melt. She stammered, confused, "I don't know... the boys??" I thought that one of the sickest monents of commercial TV.
Next to the Ghoulish male reporter, who asked Christine Nixon, "How high do you think the toll might rise?" (breath panting, in the asking) His blanketty blank eyes gleaming! @rsehole! Do these cretins have any idea of the face they present to the world? Do they know how ghoulish they appear?
The female 'reporter', her glittering eyes, as she asks the most inane questions. I take offense, just seeing her idiot smiling face. As she stands in front of the community center, & confesses, it is a "NO GO" zone for media personel.
oh what a surprise, I wonder why??
Watching a staged 'reunion' with a couple. It looked like a f#cking dog trial being filmed, as the cameras circled the lucky reunite- ees. Over the paddock, into the 'flock'...OK the TV channel staged the reunion.. but really? How sick to exploit such human sadness, & despair.
Another conversation, in company.
"What about the stupid cow who had 8 babies... deliberately"
"She is out there, pleading poverty"
"Yeah, well, she wont get any sponsorship will she? She will be like a steaming turd on a shovel to any endorsement companies!"
"They won't want to touch her with a barge pole. She had generated such Odium in the public arena!"
"No "BumComfort Pampers" for her. She is a social pariah"
"I laughed, when they said the "seedy" 'seed donor' doubted he wanted to be part of the upbringing of the babies"
"It is just as I said. 'They can f^ck around, & then f^ck off & who will hold them responsible!"
"The seed donor, deserves his 'nads to be removed".
"I hope, while they were evaluating the mother's mental stability, they used "Discretionary Sterilisation" .
"If only that was a real option!!"
"Is the impregnating (IVF)Dr accountable?"
"I heard they are proceeding with charges?"
I would like to thank the many friends I have, who have cheered me with messages of fun, & laughter, as I have wallowed in this trough of despondancy.
Who am I, to feel such depair. It is not a personal tragedy, though it is a national tragedy, therefore, we are part of it all.
I have personal tragedy, which, upon my soul, resembles all of those photos of devastation & waste. I have lived through that, experienced it all, in my very being. Those pictures represent, my survival.
And, no, I do not wish to sound arrogant over this.
But I have felt that fire of annihilation. I have gazed upon that same devastation. That landscape has been my landscape.
Am I sane? Or completley mad?
I know you never recover. Though you pretend, & life goes on.
Thursday, February 12
I have to break out.