Only Joking!

I wish to state at the outset, some of the content of this post is just a joke.


I have been pondering on suicide inducing actions you could take, if you were contemplating such a course, but were a little unsure of whether it was the correct course to take. (Yes, as someone once commented, I am unnerving. Sometimes I unnerve myself!)

Try going into clothing shops, taking a selection of garments into the fitting room, strip off your 'what the bloody hell was I thinking to come out wearing THIS?? In public??' garments, & take a good look in the mirror.

You will want to hastily redon your uglies, & slink out, to find a suitable place for your demise.

Often the suspicion that you should remove yourself from other's vision/and/or establishment, is preluded by the horrified, lip curling, sneering look you receive from the shop attendant, as her eyes widen in disgust, & slide up & down your 'presence'.

Sort of a "How dare you defile my elegant emporium, with your ugly shabbiness?" look.

If you should still be deluding yourself that you can't be so hideous that bad, I recommend you try on some of the chosen selection of new garments. Note that you chose a large size you thought must surely fit.

Glance again in the mirror.

This is where you will totally lose all will to live!!

You will realise to your utter horror the huge size you thought would swim on your torso, is straining at all points!

Imagine then, that you have finally found a garment that you think you could wear, without inducing self destructive urges. You go to purchase said item.

The assistant's eyes widen with alarm, almost disbelief. "You want to take it?" she gasps.

You find yourself wondering if your choice can really be that bad. I suppose the assistant is just hoping that no one will know what brand it is, or where you purchased the garment.


I am interspersing some more photos my cousin's wife took of Poultry in England.
Just a little light relief, you might say.

I think these are ducks?


Another self destructive pointer, is the fact that it is all going to be downhill from hereon.

The Arthritis is just going to get worse. Those ridiculous expensive tablets you bought, thinking they might just work, have been a complete & utter waste of good money. All that has been achieved there, has been the padding to the bank account of some 'health yeah, right! food producer'.


This is a fluffy little individual!

Other suicide inducing thoughts include reading a list of all the things you liked, that you now are told are so bad for you- death & disease will surely follow any partaking of said items, or foodstuffs., or beverages

This cocky little fellow is ok. He has the fluffy footwarmers!!

Other good sources of suicidal thoughts are often to be found in the home. The fact that it has rained for almost a month on a daily basis can rob one of the joy of living. The absolute end comes though, when the bleating Airconditioner you have just paid to have repaired, ceases to function two days later. And you know it is a different problem.

You contemplate taking an axe to the blasted thing, but then realise you would be better off using the axe on your own self.

You learn that a relative relative has a health problem, which is on the verge of deathly serious. Admission to Hospital is urgently urged. Goodness knows, hospital beds are like hen's teeth, so they are not given lightly. The fool refuses to go. You know the spinoff is going to be ghastly for the relatives, and the relatives of the relatives.


The sight of this comical little hen? makes me smile. Almost induces the will to live once more.

I am normally not one to celebrate or advocate the murder of trees.

I love trees, of all sorts, shapes & growth habits.

However, there are exceptions. Privet is a curse about our neighbourhood. It has been let run amok. Our neighbour has a self sown one, which has grown since we moved here, & it now blocks our clothesline. I would cheerfull murder it. Gom already murdered another in their yard. With their approval I hasten to add.

Another problem tree is the Camphor Laurel.

This is a pic of one I look at daily.

Well, now it is a pic of the remains of the Camphor Laurel.

As you can see in the somewhat blurry pic, it was a very large tree or possibly trees. The council came along with tree felling men, & cherry pickers, & mulching trucks, & felled the offensive tree. A Privet was also taken down. We have no idea why, but now we can see the house beyond, & I am sure the people who live behind the felled trees, have a lot more light in their lives.