Friday, June 25

Jumping On The Bandwagon.

The Bandwagon. to which I refer,  is "Facial Hair"!

It is really a given for Males, but it is an optional extra, to grow said hair.

For Females it can be a downright hideous embarrassment. Unless, of course, they can join some Circus in which they which might become a 'Bearded Lady'.

However, this is not the usual outcome of Post Menopausal Hair Growth. It is not enough to benefit a career in the Circus. Nor,  is it slight enough to ignore, and hope no one will notice.
I have heard of women bleaching the increased hair, in the hopes it will never be noticed.

The trouble is, bleached hair has a tendency to glisten in the sunlight, or any other light directed in the direction of said hair.
No woman wants to be noted for a splendidly gleaming blond moustache, or beard.
Blond takes on a whole new meaning in that scenario.

I digress here, a little. My gripe is not with hapless women, who decide to let Nature take it's cruel course.

No. My gripe is with men, who 'stupidly' grow their whiskers to grubbily stain their chins, and chubby cheeks. They are to be seen in the media, often, proudly sporting this "Derro" look.


I see it to be associated with men, who are either alcohol addicted, or drug addicted- ie, the 'Derro Look'!
Here in Oz, we all know, that Derro, refers to a lost, or drug addicted  soul. Some condition, which precludes them from properly shaving in the mornings, or evenings, or whenever they are required, for public appearance.
I see it as downright laziness, in the 'taking care of personal hygiene' vein.

I also see it as an inordinate vanity, as I understand this hideous, whiskered, and  'overgrown' look, takes an awful lot of time to perfect.

I suspect Don Johnston has a lot to answer for, in this ugly 'craze'.  (But Hell, didn't he go out of vogue so long ago???' Along with white suits, and rolled-sleeve-suit jackets??)

I realise I am "Older" and my opinions dont count a jot, today. I still feel as though I can b!tch about what I find unattractive, and ugly!

I see it, on an evening Show Host. I am told he has grown the 'Stubble' to counteract the opinion that he has a 'Babyface'.
He should be glad he looks so young!
In his older age, he can still possibly 'pass' for someone much younger.
I think, at present, he looks like someone who is imitating his old Grandfather, or Great Uncle.

I feel like sending him a message, saying "Go and wash your face!! And have a bloody good close shave, while you are there!"

Goodness knows, it is YOUTH that seem so be so worshipped these days.

I should add here, in defence of bearded folks, of which my Beloved Brother is one, there are some people who seem destined to suit beards.

BB was nagged constantly by our Mother to shave off his beard of some 30 odd years.
When he did, she was shocked beyond belief, and wished she had not nagged, so consistently, for all those years. He became unrecognisable, &, she declared, looke like her youngest brother.
An aging Aunt told him he should have known his beard had become an "Institution" by the time he was over 50, and he was to grow it back ASAP!
He did, and has no intention of shaving it anytime soon.

My two sons, have had various facial hair configurations, over the years, but at present are both clean shaven.

I would never try to dictate or even suggest, what they should do with their very personal whiskers.
I do, however,  feel, I can express an opinion on Public Figures.

Peter Gabriel, In Your Eyes.


Jennifer said...

Ah yes.....the "carefully unshaven" look is one of my pet hates too! Grow a proper beard or shave the lot off. I feel sorry for their partners, just imagine that stubble rash......let's not go there......

persiflage said...

I quite like beards, but not too long or shaggy. I suppose that overall shagginess is rather unappealing. Lots of men get very slovenly as they age, and slop around the house all day in a very unbecoming way. Their partners/spouses/friends have to get very assertive and bossy.

Warty Mammal said...

I like beards, except on myself. This flirting-with-menopause period is unkind in that regard.

Yesterday I confided to my husband that one of my fears is being hospitalized, waking up after being in a coma for five days, and finding that since I was unable to remove whiskers each day, I have a full beard. I imagine his look of revulsion and horror as he stands at the bedside, realizing that he married the Bearded Lady.

At this point in my narrative, he had a real look of horror. "Um, I think if you'd been in a coma for five days, a beard would be the least of my worries."

"So if that ever happens, will you pull the hairs out or shave me or something?"

"Yes. Yes, I will."

I guess I feel better now.

Jerry said...

Whew! I was getting nervous for a second there with my bearded face quivering.

Anonymous said...

You're such a great writer! This post was really funny.

Isabelle said...

Yes, I hate the designer stubble look. Beard or not beard, fine - but not the messy-stubble affectation.

~Sheila@tempus fugit~ said...

My DH has had a beard for years now. It's trimmed neatly, and when I asked him to shave it off ...and he did... I hated the way he looked. I guess you can used to anything, and he soon grew it back.
Me on the other hand, I have nasty bristle-y whiskers pop up on my chin and top lip. And gadzooks...some of them are dark!
I tweeze them out, wax them and shave them depending on my mood. But tweezing seems to be best and it doesn't even hurt anymore. The joys of being menopausal!

The Sagittarian said...

The Stud has a beard, and I hope he keeps it!

Anonymous said...

Stubble just looks lazy, in my opinion. Grow a real one or shave. (Nice beard there!)

Tanya said...

I really wish my son would remove his facial hair (the scraggle) but his girlfriend seems to like it and girlfriends wield more power than mothers.