Friday, March 18

Ghastly Choices.

We are faced with some ghastly choices. Though, strictly speaking it is not "WE" who are faced with this dilemma.

How does one decide if one wishes to continue to be treated, for an essentially terminal disease?
Not my decision to make. However it is now Gom's decision.

His quality of life has been diminishing, and he is faced with possible death, from withdrawal of treatment- which he has expressed as being his chosen fate- or a procedure, which may give him a significantly improved, balance of life. It cannot be life saving, but alleviating the value, and quality, of remaining time.

It is a difficult choice, and I cannot decide for Gom. He has to make this choice for himself, based on how he feels.

Having seen him at his lowest ebb, and also having seen him after transfuions, and other life saving procedures, I am not convinced he is ready to 'throw in the towel', to use a sporting term. The basic hope for life's urge for continuance seems to spring eternal in the human heart.

He will face weekly transfusions, for the forseeable future, unless/until he has the procedure. If he does not have the procedure, he can choose not to undergo further transfusions. Surely, the beginning of his demise.

If he has the procedure, and it is unsuccsessful he will be back at square one.

We have a date, for consultation for the procedure, and that is the next step of the way.
I feel sure he is prepared to undergo the procedure, and essentially, is not ready to call it quits,- yet.

I was very pleased that his Specialist phoned me today, and gave me a chance to ask questions we had previously not had the opportunity to discuss. He is a very honest and forthright man. I appreciate his honesty. To me, it is a form of respect.

We have a new GP, who seems very caring, and optomistic.
I am having further tests re my health, and also, ongoing treatment.
I am pleased to learn there are new techniques, which will not involve painful,  blood tests, which involved invasive taking of blood from my uncooperative, shrivelled, shy,  and extemely painful veins. I could drink a gallon of water, and my veins would not want to see a needle of any description.

Why do the 'blood takers' refuse to listen when I tell them where the best site for obtaining blood, is located? Why do they insist they 'know better' and take if from horrible, painful,  sites involving my wrist and thumb? GRRRRR!!

I feel ashamed, to be complaining about our lot in life. We have dear friends, who are undergoing far worse ordeals than we currently face.


An Indian Feast, designed by a creative eater! I do love Naan Bread!

Cloud Banks, tinted by the sunset.

Cloudbanks at the fading light.
The sky is a neverending panorama, to be enjoyed by all who might care to view. A Free Treat!


~Sheila~ said...

I admire you for allowing GOM to choose his own fate, whatever it may be. Not easy I'm sure.
Glad the new doc is acceptable, it's always a crap shoot when losing a a good doctor as to what you will get.
Getting old sucks, but it beats the alternative, as I hope GOM will realize.
Hugs to you both.

ancient one said...

I'm so glad you are keeping on top of your own health. It makes it so much easier when the doctor is someone you like. I pray that GOM will make the best decision. XOXO

Catalyst said...

Tough times, Meggie. It is GOM's decision in the best of worlds. I hope it never becomes more than that and hope his decision is wise. Stay strong and take care of your own health as well.

I loved your musical choice today.

crafty cat corner said...

How difficult life is, all the way through really and decisions are always having to be made. Sometimes it is more difficult to be the one looking on (I have experience of this with my husband. I am sure that Gom will make the right decision for him.
On the subject of blood tests, I have large bruises on the back of both hands at the moment as the nurse could not get anything out from anywhere giving up in the end and referring me to the hospital where the task was carried out easily. So I feel for you.
On a lighter note, I love the look of your beautiful Morty.

marigold jam said...

I sometimes think that it is a curse to have so manay choices in life it might be easier if there was no choice. It must be so difficult to make such a decision and also to stand by whilst a loved one makes such a choice even if it is not the one you yourself might have made. My thoughts are with you both.


Christine Thresh said...

Yes, Gom will have to make the decision. I know about this because of my dear husband.
Your own health is so important and I am glad to hear that you have some promising alternatives.
I'm thinking about you.

Mary said...

Holding you in my thoughts Meggie - and GOM of course...

Mary said...

I'm so sorry that you're faced with these choices. Hopefully GOM will find the treatment option that makes the most of the time he has left.

quiltmom said...

Each day that we live is a gift my mother says, but it is the way we live that is called living, not the number of days that we have here in this place we call earth. I think GOM will find the right way for him to live - it takes courage and caring for you to let him choose.
I am happy to hear that you found a new GP with whom you are comfortable. I hope that they are able to help you feel better too.
The world is watching on tenterhooks the situations in Japan and Christchurch- they are indeed frightening. Sometimes when big things happen around us, it makes one think that our worries are not important compared the bigger challenges of life. You are important and your worries are important to the people who love and care about you. As a new season arrives I am hoping it brings you some good news, better health and brighter days.
With hugs and good wishes,

Marja said...

oh meggie my heart goes out to you and GOM. Don't feel ashamed! You are going through a very difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I sen you lots of love. Kia kaha

The Sagittarian said...

What a tough time of it you're having, wish there was some way I could help brighten your day! My dad was in a similar position with his health 16 years ago. All the very best Meggie, whichever way GOM decides. xx

persiflage said...

I have just read your post, and feel very much for you, especially after my own recent history. Every choice is so difficult. The desire to live is immensely strong.It is good that the doctors are being so helpful, that the new GPs are good, and that your own health is being looked at.
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, especially if you head down my way.
You are so brave.

Meg said...

Meggie, despite your feeling that your situation is not as significant as the ordeals of other folk, please just remember - it is significant and you matter. You matter just as much as everyone else and we care. Please take care.

Alice said...

Dear Meg - I'm sure you're right in that only your husband can make this decision, hopefully after receiving all the appropriate information. I feel for you both (and all the family) at this distressing time, and hope that whatever decision is reached it will be the one you can all be at peace with.

With best wishes for each and every day.

Tanya said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband's health is poorly these days. I hope you will take care of yourself too.

Paula said...

Meggie, I'm sorry to hear all of this. I hope you'll find some comfort in knowing thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I do not envy GOM this decision to make, but you are right, he is the only one who can do this. Lately I have been listening to he who smokes cough more and more. He refuses to acknowledge the cause of the cough while I worry in silence ......
I know what you mean about drawing blood. If you tell them of past difficulties they seem to view it as a challenge!

Steve said...

Meggie, I wish the best for you and GOM.