Monday, June 15

Ten things I wish I never knew...

Anyone can probably list Ten Things, they wished they never knew, or, never had to know.

They are not listed in order of horror, or importance. They are totally random.

My Number One would probably be, that my parents got divorced. It had happened, before I was told, & when I found out, I wished I could die. It shattered me in small & large ways, that I am not sure I ever recovered from.

I think my discovery of that fact, was almost as destructive, & corrosive, as the actual fact.

Number Two was probably the fact that the Father of my eldest son did not love me, to the degree I loved him.


Number Three was the fact, that no matter how much you love someone, you can never make them love you back, to the same degree.

Number Four is the fact that no matter how shattered your heart or life may seem, you are going to have to keep on living.

Number Five is that you will love your children, no matter what, why or how. They will break your heart in a million ways & cause pain unlimited, that you have no power to stop, or alter.

Number Six is the fact that I will look a Dork, posing with my daughter, with a cigarette in my hand. this is deliberately cropped! I really wish I never knew that I smoked!




Number Seven will be asking myself what the hell my son was asking me, as we posed on the verandah of the Hotel where we lived? I guess this is a sort of no question, since I have no memory of the answer.




Number Eight, is, what the hell was I thinking wearing an almost red dress?? I loathe red.






Number Nine is how quickly Asthma can strike! The dog set the Asthma off in our son, & we had no medication. We had to resort to some warm brandy & sugar, to settle him for the night. It was a Motel, & the dog was a Resident. Our children love pets, & made him very welcome.



Number Ten is seeing sides of a man I have loved, & been married to, for 43 years, that I didn't know existed. I wish they had never surfaced. I wish the mask had never slipped.



21 comments:

Selina Kingston said...

Oh Meggie, I suddenly feel very sad reading that. I hope you're OK
x

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

This was a nice post. I can't decide if you were going for tragic or comic though. Should I state my sympathy or should I chuckle? This squirrel is a little confused.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Are you laughing through your tears?

Angie said...

Oh Meggie, hearts resonate with so many extreme feelings and emotions.

Warty Mammal said...

Poignant and from the heart.

Some of the most interesting, beautiful wood gets that way because it undergoes stress of some kind. Insect attacks, decay (spalting). It's highly prized and expensive. I think people similarly become more interesting and gain beauty for similar reasons. Not that that's any comfort to you, mind you!

Thank you for sharing.

ancient one said...

I came and read this morning.. but didn't comment then... for awhile I thought of things I wish I didn't know... then I decided I didn't want to think of that anymore.. so I went to see mama... took her some fresh vegies and she says she wants to go to town tomorrow... so that's in our plans... Hope tomorrow you will post some things you are glad you know...:)

fifi said...

oh, how sad, i was thinking, and then I got distracted by the dress, in which I think you looked rather stylish, and then that hairstyle, which was hilarious!
( NO offence of course. You were actually very gorgeous) I seem to recall lots of Womens Weekly covers featuring Very Smart Women wearing their hair like that :-)

But yes, sad isnt it.
It s not great to make certain discoveries is it...

Molly said...

I remember being horrified at the thought of my parents "doing it." I would have been quite happy to have remained ignorant of such details.....

Molly said...

I remember being horrified at the thought of my parents "doing it." I would have been quite happy to have remained ignorant of such details.....

Mike said...

Interesting concept Meggie. But then again, I think....only 10?

The Sagittarian said...

Hi Meggie, interesting post. there are quite a few things I wish I didn't know, and I always laugh when in Court hearings and the Judge instructs the jury to "disregard that comment" just how in the hell they manage it!!

Marja said...

See you went through a lot and I agree children break your heart many times maybe becuse you love them so much they are able too.
You look nice on these pictures in that red dress Tke care Meggie

persiflage said...

Oh Meggie, I felt very sad as I read this. There are some things in life which the knowing thereof gives pain. But I loved your old photos, which show your beauty.
I'd be tempted to give the long white hair a trim, though.

June Saville said...

Sending you a hug Meggie
June also in Oz

Alby Mangroves said...

Not much I can say, except that your posts are always very frank and unnerving.. I hope you're OK. You might loathe red, but I think you look great in that dress.

Thimbleanna said...

Wow, what an interesting post Meggie. I suspect there are more than a few of us who feel the same way about #10 -- isn't that sort of the nature of a long marriage???

Stomper Girl said...

Hope all is okay Meggie. You do look smoking hot in that red dress, by the way. I suppose ignorance is bliss but you are a strong woman because of what you know.

lovelyprism said...

I'm a little confused. Hope you're ok. *hugs

Mary said...

I think that I might leave the ten things I wish I never knew alone - as you can imagine.

hugs to you Meggie

Ali Honey said...

Meg, we have all got things like that but I bet you know lots, lots more things you are glad you do know.
Red is one of my favourite colours; I wear it a lot. I like it on you and also I like that hairstyle - you looked just beautiful with it.
None of us can undo things we wish we hadn't done; things we wish we hadn't said; things we wish we didn't know. It's okay to feel like that!
I'm glad right now we live in BOP as everywhere else over here is freezing!
Sending you a big hug.

Veronica said...

Oh Meggie, this one broke my heart for you... are you OK? With love and hugs, Vxx