Monday, April 7

Loss

Loss

As she felt the pains,
And knew, this one, too, is gone.
It is leaving me,
Leaving my body.
In painful agony.

Why do these children,
I long for, so deeply,
Not want to stay within my body?

To stay, to become a part
Of our family...
Will my circle of love
not be sufficient,
to entice this one,
this child,
to stay,
to become part of our lives?

The basic longing for this,
Or any child,
Is so raw,
so primitive,
Denial seems so cruel.

Each miscarriage is a slap.
A comment on fitness,
To be a parent.

The nurses sneer,
"You don't really want this child"
"What have you done?"
Vituperative venom!
Such Bitches!
Such monumental
Lack of compassion!

These bereft wives
Of the Prisoners Of War.

After the War,
When they lost those precious,
Longed-for children, unformed.

They shoulder, & wear,
the accusations, the blame.
For the lost babies.
That don't 'stay',
That miscarry.

Because, they are imperfect,
They are the product of the Prisons,
Where their father's were held,
Prisoners of a War.
In malnutrition,
In deprivation.

The ones that finally 'take',
The precious children,
That are born,
whole, perfect,
Miracles,
Every one of them.

Children of a hideous War.
Children, that are the hope for
Our future.
For Man's future.

Who will sing the song
Of mourning,
For those mothers,
Who endured those pains
To bring those children
Into this world,
For their turn at this life?

Janis Ian, This Must Be Wrong.

11 comments:

Kitty said...

Miscarriage is still something of an unspoken taboo in our society isn't it? I've had one. I should maybe blog about it someday?

I loved your poem. x

Mike said...

Sad and lovely Meggie.

meggie said...

Kitty, It does still seem to be taboo topic, as you say.
Perhaps Karma came into play in this case, as the most vicious nurse later had several miscarriages of her own, & her husband had not been a prisoner of war. I wonder if she remembered her horrible remarks, & the hurt she caused.

Mike, I suspect we all have sad stories to tell.

Tanya Brown said...

You have such a talent for poetry.

Poor ladies with the miscarriages. I hope that time brought a form of healing.

jellyhead said...

This is so moving, Meggie. It is especially shocking to think that women were blamed and shamed for something that was not only beyond their control, but was also a soul-destroying experince for them.

ancient one said...

Why do women think that everything that happens is their fault?

Pauline said...

ancient woman has posed a good question - women should comfort women, not make them feel worse than they do. this is a very moving poem, meggie.

dontlooknow said...

Oh Meggie ... what do I say? My three youngest are IVF - it took 9 tries to get our twins, a natural pregnancy inbetween them & Joshua - that ended in such sadness that I still feel ... that little person would have been 4 next week.

anne bebbington said...

Timing! My brother and his wife lost their second last week at 12 weeks - she had the scan and was told it had been dead for two weeks - a much longed for baby brother from Spencer of Spencer's Stars - only those who've been through it can truly understand the loss - thanks for sharing this Meggie - it came just at the right time

anne bebbington said...

sorry Meggie that should have read 'much longed for baby brother or sister for Spencer' - dyslexia of the fingers here!

fifi said...

I'm with you here.