Sunday, April 13

More about Age- or Bore about Age!

I read quite a lot of blogs whose authors are young, quite a few with children. I can feel sympathy & empathy with a lot of what they write, as I have 'been there & done that'. My daughter is in fact 'being there & doing that', also, so it is never irrelevant.

I also read a lot of blogs of, shall we say, more mature authors. Closer to my age, but not all of them of course. I like male & female bloggers points of view. I like deep, frivolous, funny, artful, talented... you name it! I follow other bloggers links, & have found myself incredibly moved at the writing & thoughts of other bloggers.

There is also the fun, the laughter, the hysterical coffee-spitting hilarity...& often pain, peeping out between the lines of seeming laughter.

There are many down sides to the body getting older. The aches & the pains & some of the parts letting us down from time to time.
There are many up sides too though. We are not always expected to leap up to do the dishes at family gatherings. We are not expected to run about the lawn playing vigorous games with the grandchildren.

We can feel perfectly happy, sitting for a couple of hours, with a sleeping baby nestled in our arms. We don't feel we need to be up & doing something. We have time for the baby, & it is soothing to just 'let it be'.

I used to worry about how I appeared when I was young. Was my hair neat, were my clothes the right type for the right occasion. Trivial things like that. Now I don't care if my hair is crappy that is a blatant lie. When I go to get a haircut & come out scalped, I want to run home & hide for a month! I confess, I do care if I feel it is too crappy.

I can honestly say, I no longer care if my clothes are, or are not, fashionable. I might make someone else feel awfully superior when they look at my tired old garden variety clothing, so really I am doing them a favour! We don't live the social life we once did, so I don't feel the need for 'fancy' dress. Comfort is first consideration, & the fact that I don't care what others think, is a plus.

Reading one blog today, the writer, who is young & pretty, says she hates dropper inners. I used to hate them too. I remember the wife of our local GP saying she hated nosey neighbours, dropper inners, & other people's kids who wanted to stay. I felt a bit sorry for her kids & I thought about my friendly neighbours, whose kids spent more time at our place than theirs.

I liked my kids having friends over to stay. I had not been able to have friends to stay, when I was a teenager, & I enjoyed having a houseful of happy teenagers. At least I knew where they were, & what they were doing!

When I was younger, I would feel a bit nervous with drop-in visitors. I would hope the kids had not filled the toilet with shoes or toys. Or done other, unmentionable things.

Now I welcome drop in visitors. It could be the last chance I get to see them. I love people to feel welcome. I don't care if the house is in disarray, or the dogs have tramped grass & leaves inside. Or if our grandson has his toys out all over the floor. It just means we are living, & enjoying it. At times I have fabric all over the dining room table, which is where I cut fabric for my quilting. It might stay there all week. I don't care. We don't use the dining table anyway. If friends come over we can sit out on the patio & use that table.

I have very few housekeeping rules. I hate housework. I just like the beds to be made, the toilet, & bathroom to be clean, the kitchen to be tidy, if we are not using it, & the rest can be a bomb site. Gom likes a little more tidy than I do. He rearranges the pantry. It used to drive me crazy. Now, I try to ignore it. He has changed the order of things about, & I have come to the conclusion it is because he is right handed & I am lefthanded. Maybe?

I wish he had a hobby, but I can't force him to have one. He does read a lot, which is good. I hope we both keep our marbles. His memory is better for such things as movie stars names, mathematical matters, mine is better for other things.

I have a dearly loved Aunt, who is in hospital. I am distracted with worry about her. I know she is thinking she would rather be gone, for all sorts of reasons.
She has told me she can see her eyes have the far-away look that her husband & sister's eyes got before they died. It scares me to think about my life without her being here. There is a part of me that also feels if she needs to be gone, well, I would never wish her back.
I don't feel now is her time to go.
I wish I could be there to visit her, & help care for her.


Gracious Jackie, TMOTL has given me an award.

Thank you Jackie.

This Award originated here, do go & read her post about it, here. Very interesting!

Now, I do believe I am supposed to hand this along to others. There has been quite a bit of resistance to Awards among bloggers recently. I usually take the coward's way out, & dont nominate particular blogs. I like them all, or I wouldn't have them listed, or visit & read them. So if you are reading this, take a bow, take the Award, & thank you for entertaining me.

Dire Straights, Brothers in Arms.


daysgoby said...

I loved this post! I am slowly growing into being not-so-worried about what other people think, Meggie, and I love what you write about it.

I am so sorry about your Aunt. I will pray for a quick resolution to her troubles (covering all bases?)

And I will steal that award, because I like it!

Tanya said...

I have wondered if the drop in custom was cultural. I'm a drop in person and don't really minde dropper-inners. I had (past tense) a friend from another western culture who became so annoyed with me for the drop-in habit. She wanted to bake a cake every time I visited so I was doing her a disservice by arriving unannounced. She was a much more formal lady while I'm a casual person. Cultural or personality?

I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt and your pain in not being able to be with her and care for her. I hope she has loving care-givers around her.

ancient one said...

Aging seems to be a popular blog subject lately. I read something just this week about people coloring their hair and having fits when they first see gray. The article said Gray Hair is a sign of wisdom. The Gray Matter in our brains was oozing out in our hair..LOL

I hope your Aunt gets better soon. I've never heard anyone say that about the eyes ...

The Sagittarian said...

Well said Meggie.

OvaGirl said...

Hi there Meggie, just happened upon your blog.
Aging gracefully (or disgracefully) is more and more on the agenda for me. I gave up worrying about fashionable clothes years ago, often happiest in hand me downs from friends and family.

btw I think you would also enjoy Penelope Farmer's blog (as Granny P) Rockpool In The Kitchen

Working mum said...

Thank you for taking the trouble to look up the award on my blog. I hope you enjoyed reading some of my story. I enjoyed this post of yours. I am looking forward to growing old disgracefully (wearing purple and spitting, as in the poem!) and I love dropper inners, but don't seem to get many as all my friends are too busy with their own lives!

I shall return to read more of your life, I enjoy the wisdom of bloggers who have older children, let's me know what I am in for.
All the best, WM

meggie said...

Hi Jess, I do hope you 'steal' that award, because you deserve it! Love your posts.

Tanya, I would love the chance for you to drop in on me! I love your writing.

Ann, I have never cared about my grey hairs. Then I am 65 & am still quite 'brown' looking! genetics I guess. I fear my Aunt is not going to be here much longer, & I am torn between the selfish wish she remains, & the reality, that she is ready to go.

Saggi, I have had some fun reading your posts this afternoon.

Ova Girl, Nice to meet you, & thank you for your comment.

Working Mum, I enjoyed my visit to your blog, & will return for further reading.

Linds said...

Meggie, I loved this. I love dropper is a huge part of my life, and I missed it when we first arrived in the UK, but I think I have educated my friends well! To me, all that matters is that they chose to visit. My house is not me. I prefer to see it as a place where things happen, and life is lived. That includes people popping in whenever they like. I just shift stuff out of the way so they can perch and we put the kettle on. What a delight.

I am so sorry to hear about your Aunt. And I recognise those mixed feelings you are having too, my friend.

alice said...

Sending you thoughts and warmth in regards to your aunt. LOve your post. I think I am somewhere between not wanting the dropper inners and wanting the dropper inners. Maybe a mid life crisis? :)

Pauline said...

I found myself nodding in agreement the whole way through. Isn't it a relief to finally be able to say "I don't really care" about so many things - especially those dreadful thoughts of what others might be thinking of us? It's the first best thing about aging that I can think of. Wish you were close enough to drop in. We'd have tea and talk about all manner of delightful things!

CONNIE W said...

Back in the days when I was growing up I recall that my parents and their friends all were dropper-inners on each other at times and all of them were in hearty approval. It was usually a fun surprise and the visits were generally for the entire evening. All the children would play games while the adults talked & laughed. Those were great days. Seems the custom has changed somewhat and people feel less free to drop-in.

I saw myself in your post for I too have certainly relaxed my own personal standards of how I feel about my attire. While there is certainly a time & place for one to do & look their best, I find that I enjoy my comfort and if that means not dressing so stylish, not having on make-up, and allowing my hair to be just so-so at times is fine by me. I do feel that aging plays a part in this for me. My outlook on life has evolved over time and things I once considered of utmost importance now are much less in the scheme of things.

Congrats on your award, it is well and fitting to have been given to you.

Stomper Girl said...

I found it hard when my dad married someone who dislikes dropper-inners. I do sympathise with and like her but it really affected my relationship with him...

Good post Meggie, I enjoyed it.

smilnsigh said...

I'm so sorry you are so worried about your dear Aunt. Hard call this... To wish to hold on to her, if she feels ready to pass on? Or to willingly let her know that you can handle it, if she does?

I wish you well with such a difficult decision...


Isabelle said...

Wouldn't it be nice if we had our mature don't-care attitude to hair and clothes but could also leap out of a chair as easily as we used to??

Dropper-inners - it kind of depends who they are!

Sympathy about your aunt. Life - active life - is much too short.

leslie said...

Gee Meggie, I'm one of the ones who's slowing down now, too. But in my heart I still wish I could jump up and do all the things I used to - like playing catch in the yard with my grandson, run around the bases in a scrub softball game, play tennis, climb a ladder, etc. etc. Arthritis does do a number on us! But then there are those times when it's nice not to be the one to organize the cleaning up at family get-togethers, instead just sit with the baby, like you mentioned. I must say, though, that I still care about my hair but not so much about the clothes (jeans and tees are so comfy!).

Sorry about your Aunt. We'll all be there, too, one day.

Kitty said...

I too love dropper-inners, but I always have. If people want to be in my home, to spend time with me, isn't that the best compliment of all? I also love to have a houseful of kids - the more the merrier. It's what being 'people' is all about for me.

Congratulations on your award - yours truly is a blog of distinction.


jellyhead said...

What a gorgeous, warm, wry post Meggie.

Thank you for being such a wonderful blogger, and thank you for reading my blog, too!

the mother of this lot said...

What a wonderful attitude to life you have Meggie - I wish I was nearer to you - I'd definitely drop in!

And I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope she is being well looked after.

BBC said...

I used to worry about how I appeared when I was young.

I didn't, still don't. And I wear my clothes until they are rags. I've never been vain enough to think that clothes were important to what I am.

fifi said...

I think I am having a minor crisis this week about the aging factor, but I always say a silent thanks that all my bits works pretty well, and that I can scurry, jump, and splash about.

PAT said...


I am one of the "elder" bloggers and I identified with all you have written. Right down to my hubby, who doesn't have a hobby, but does enjoy organizing things!

I'm online this morning, looking for comfortable capri pants for summer. No zippers please!

I completely understand what you've written about your aunt.

Wonderful post!


Mrs. Goodneedle said...

I like dropper-inners, always a delightful surprise. Prayers for your dear aunt.

Sheila said...

When I was younger, and anxious about some social event, I would wish for the day when I wouldn't give a hoot, about what to wear, or what people thought..That day has come, and I love it.
I used to be a house work maniac too, but that has eased up as well, and the world is still revolving. Imagine that..?
I am happy to do my own thing, be it sitting and doing nothing or going out for lunch by myself.
It's so freeing not to be obsessed by what others think.
Congratulations on the award, BTW.

Thimbleanna said...

You always have thoughtful things to say Meggie! Such truths about getting older. My house is often a mess -- when I was younger I used to be upset by that, but now, I'm so much more relaxed. We're just living, after all.

Anonymous said...

Oooh I much prefer it when people drop in because then I don't have to rush about tidying up and things. People should take us as they find us really - it's us they come to see after all, unlike MILs who obviously come to inspect hygience standards!

If I know someone is coming I often clean those bits of the house I think they will wander into and seal the rest off!!!

Knot Garden said...

I always used to like it when my daughters had friends over, because I like to have a young vibe in the house. I don't think people who want to visit you mind at all if your house looks lived in and not like a show home.
The older I get, the more I realise that it was a waste of time caring what people thought about me when I was younger.

Josie said...

It's wonderful when we can feel comfortable in our own skin, and our own clothes, isn't it? People have to take us as we are, young or old.

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. Please keep us posted.

Lucy said...

I don't like the idea of droppers in, but then when they're there it's usually fine, and nice to think 'now we've seen them we don't have to make the effort!'. I don't tend to do it myself, unless it's someone I'm really at ease with. A friend recently described dropping in on people (this was in Germany) who were evidently expecting other guests for dinner; there were scurryings and flustered exclamations of 'oh no they're here already!', the table was laid etc which I'm afraid I would find horribly embarrassing from either side.

I'm sorry about your aunt, I hope her passing is as easy as it can be.

I never get nominated for awards, I don't think I'm that kind of blogger,(please don't nominate me now, I really don't want it, no sour grapes, honest...) though someone recently asked me to join a club. I guess it was a compliment, but I'm not a joiner!

Rosie said...

I have got a bit too relaxed about my dirty everyone in it is over 15 years old I reckon it is their business as well as mine...and if they crack before I do , well I've spent a lot of years cleaning up after now its someone elses turn.
I dont like greasy fingers on my piano keys but otherwise I dont give a damn and if anyone drops in tant mieux.
I think that one of the nice things about the blogging community is that you can make friends with people of all ages, which I have, and without being affected by what they look like, which is a factor in daily life whether one is conscious of it or not. The written voice defines the person...wonderful

Tanya Brown said...

Loved this post and its introspective, philosophical thoughts.

We're all on a life continuum; some of us are further along it than others, of course. I frequently wonder about boring the crap out of those who are to the grandparent stage with my tales of motherhood. It must be a "been there, done that" thing to some, and not terribly interesting at all.

It's a horrid irony, the fact that one really doesn't get older inside yet one's body declares that one is. There are some compensations, of course, but on the whole it doesn't seem very fair.