Dental, Mental, Parental, Accidental...

Dental:

I am in agony with a tooth pain. I have been to the dentist, had it xrayed, am told it is ok, & still quite healthy. Well, it sure is giving off a good imitation of a dying or cracked tooth!

I was so relieved when the 11 year old, fresh faced, handsome young lad young dentist told me it was looking good, that I was fooled into believing him. Even after looking at the clear looking Xray, I still believed him.
Now all I have to do is convince the tooth!

It is rather a vital one, so I am hoping he is correct in his diagnosis, but the pain refuses to go. I have the sensitive-type toothpaste, as, since I am now 'long in the tooth', he suggests that may be the cause for the oversensitivity......


On the Mental front:

Bailey had to return from whence he came. I feel like crying everytime I think of it. Daughter J said he went into blind panic, at being left behind at the Pound. They have now marked that girl, who bought him, as never to be sold another dog. It doesn't ease Bailey's pain. Or my heartache.

Gom was prepared to give him a chance with us. Apparently he had peed in all sorts of corners in DJ's house, (& on SIL,) so I guess he should be housed where he is the sole dog.

To their credit, the staff at this Pound are known to be very caring & the young man who took Bailey remembered him, & was very kind to him. It is almost as if our dogs know about Bailey's fate, as Honey has been particularly clingy to me, & Leo just wants to sit on Gom's knee all the time.

I want to go away, & have a good weep about it all. Sometimes, tears seem to dilute the pain.


Parental:

We are having SG tonight, to stay the night. We will collect him from the Bus after school. His parents are having one last night away before their holidays end, & they are back to the workaday world.

We used to have Adult Granddaughter to stay almost every weekend when she was young. It has worked out that we have only had SG a couple of times. When he was born, I was recovering from a large surgery, & could not lift him. Later when he was a little older I needed another large surgery, so that time passed.
We are looking forward to his little bright face, & his little voice chatting away.


Accidental:

I have nothing to go with accidental, really, but on the other hand, it seems to me a lot of our lives could be termed accidental, depending on your point of view.

I am currently reading a book called "I Know This Much Is True". It is by Wally Lamb. I see it was published 10 years ago. Yes, I am late to discover it. I am sooo glad I have discovered it. It is 900 pages, & I am only on page 196. I am so glad it is such a long book.

I am just enjoying every word. I see it was an Oprah's Bookclub choice. I have never been one to run off & buy the latest bestseller, although I have accidentally done it a few times.

Reading this book, got me to thinking about men, & their sense of 'friendship'. I think I will never understand how men's friendships work.

It is true that I had a great many men friends. Sadly, some have died. When I was younger, I probably had more male friends than female. I do have female friends of very long standing, & seemed to almost 'grow into' female friendships as I aged.

My rules for friendship are pretty straightforward. If someone does me a real dirty, I move as far away from them as I can, mentally. I wont go so far as saying I never forgive them, but I would never trust them again.

If they do something really bad to someone I know or care about, I don't want to know them for that, either.


My Best Friend J, married a friend of Gom's. They were not close friends, but had been friends for years before we met either of them.

When Gom's first marriage fell apart, he had custody of their daughter. His wife would have her for the day, at weekends. Gom had taken the child, & moved back to live with his parents. There was an element of guilt concerned, & I suppose the mother felt that Gom had the 'right' to take their daughter, as she, the wife, was 'at fault'.

A short time before the divorce was to go to court, the mother 'stole' their daughter, on a day outing. Gom was of course, demented. He went searching for her, everywhere he could think of. His friends all rallied round, & they all spent hours trying to locate the daughter. They tracked & watched the 'other man'. They had watches on her mother's whole family. They spied on any known link.

As was the custom, back in those days, when the divorce hearing came up, the Judge asked who had current custody? The mother's triumphant solicitor declared her mother had custody. The judge declared that is where she should stay.

I suspect that the solicitor for Gom was damn slack, & didn't advise Gom well at all.

All of this had happened well before I met Gom. I heard the story. I was sympathetic to both parties, really.

Time passed, & BFJ & I eventually married J & Gom. We had our children.

J could be very volatile. He had a terrible temper when he was angry, & he usually got angry when he drank.

One day I visited BFJ & found her face covered in bruises, & a huge black eye. I was so upset I cried. It still brings tears to my eyes to think of it, as she is such a gentle, genuinely good person. I had known that J was mistreating BFJ, but seeing the evidence brought it really home to me.

Thank goodness, she finally got the courage to leave.

I could never bring myself to forgive J for what he had done to BFJ. I could never look at him again, without seeing my beautiful friend's damaged face.

Gom didn't see it like that. He was loyal to J right until he died. He said 'well yes J had his faults, but he had his good points'. He had been one of the 'mates' who had searched so hard for his daughter.


I am sure the mechanics of friendship are quite different for males & females.




Ben E King, Stand By Me.