Monday, December 1

Groping around in the dark...

Of course, this is not the wild blue yonder... though it may look suspiciously like it.


Do you think some Clown is up there, blowing little puffs to form cute whimsical cloudpictures?


I once stood, next in line, at school, to a girl who was gifted with a lovely, clear, musical voice, & she sang softly of 'CloudBoats' .
I was captivated by her song, & searched until I found the words, tune, & a singer of that song. I have never forgotten the song, nor the words, nor Betty's beautiful clear young voice, singing that song.

I think of Betty each time I see the Cloudboats. I can still hear her clear beautiful, in-tune voice, singing. Her blonde plaits, which I used to watch her mother forming, in the mornings before we left to walk to school. Her lovely, tall, frame, swinging along the path to the school. So seemingly confident, of what we might encounter, on our journey to the school.
How I admired her. How I envied her! Her 2 older brothers who were never handsome, in the traditional way. One had ears that were so large, they could double for wings, it was felt!!Her gorgeous baby sister, who was all blond, curls, dimples, & pretty roundedness.
We lost touch, as young school friends do. I often think of her, & the wonderful warm, mornings I spent in her house, waiting for her mother to complete the plaiting of her hair.
Listening to the brothers bickering, the mother scalding, but gently, absently.
The baby Annabelle crying for attention. Rarely though, she had a sunny disposition, & all who met her were enchanted.
I fear I am living in the past! Far too much.
I am dwelling on the future, & find myself dreaming of my death, & passing from this life.
I don't think it is about to happen. Hell, no one gets off that easy!!
The Black Dog has a grip.
The bodylanguage of dejection invites further depression. I try to fight it, to 'spring' into the day.
I find a further 'wart' on my little dog Honey. I fear for her.
Both dogs have had ear infections, so we are treating those... much to Leo's disgust!!
Honey is very accepting & resigned. She probably realises the relief she gets.



John Denver, Sweet Surrender.

20 comments:

Blue Mountains Mary said...

Hang in there Meggie.

Your cloudboat photos are gorgeous - I have been noticing the clouds here in the mountains - they are absolutely beautiful at the moment.

Kitty said...

That black dog is way too comfy for my liking. I'd like to kick him.

Hang on in there Meggie - you are stronger than the black dog.

x

VioletSky said...

Cloudboats - I love that.

The black clouds should come down and crush that black dog.

fifi said...

Here is something to rid you of that DOG:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30346015@N07/3057828869/


I hope it works.

Mike said...

Time to kick that black dog to the curb Meggie!

I knew a kid in grade school named Robert who could sing like no other. He grew up and went to work in the coal mines. That always seemed so tragic to me because of his lovely voice.

Christine Thresh said...

I was not familiar with that John Denver song. I do like it.

Molly said...

Find a class in tai chi Meggie. It would do wonders for you and send the black dog whimpering out the door! Hope the clouds you're under pass soon....

Tanya Brown said...

That cursed black dog!

I wonder - and I'm ignorantly talking out of my hat, here - if the depression is related to the excruciating, debilitating dental pain you recently had, as well as the joy of seeing your brother and then having the visit end.

Who knows. There are so many things that can cause depression. Diet, exercise, sunlight, life events. Sometimes it's several of them in combination. My gut is telling me that it would be good to have something to look forward to right now, a trip or an outing or something else special. However, what does my gut know? It isn't like it's psychic or anything. All the darned thing does is sit there and process food all day.

paula said...

Meggie, sometimes the change of seasons can bring on the blues. Take care of yourself.

And you know, dreams of death are portents of growth and change, not actual death.

Be well, dear.

Catalyst said...

I should think those two white dogs, Leo and Honey, could scare off that mean old junkyard black dog.

Ali Honey said...

Hugs from me Meggie!

Put a lead around the black dog and tie him to a tree.Then put on your hat go out in the sun ( or wind or rain ) and take a fast walk.
Mentally list all the things you have to be happy about. ( start with being able to see, to hear to walk and talk and keep going) .....hell what do I know. Do ya want to come and pull off some misshappen Kiwifruit - that's fun - not - so, turn your mind to some day dream and thumb your nose at something you dislike.
I care about how you feel!

Granny J said...

How about tieing a tin can to the tail of that black dog. Or maybe a string of tin cans. That should keep him occupied.

Pauline said...

Do you still have the words to the song, Cloud Boats?

Open the door - let the white dog in and the black dog out...

ancient one said...

Just hang in there... this too shall pass... that's a promise...

Small grandson needs to come visit...

Luv-n-hugs!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Well, you're in very good company anyway. Winston Churchill spoke often of his own black dog.

You know that it will pass as suddenly as it appeared, as it always does. Keep watching the clouds and feeling the beauty around you and it will carry you through.

Sending warm hugs if that helps at all.

Ian Lidster said...

My Black Dog comes by, sniffs around for a few days, pees on some shrubbery and then moves on, blessedly, May he continue to do so. May yours as well. Blessings

Jorja's Nanna said...

Some good advice about the 'black dog' in your comments! I agree with them all. Been there and done that. It works too.
Love the red quilt and the clouds are amazing. You have a talent for capturing the perfect picture.

rhubarbwhine said...

I know of that dog, too. Be gentle and kind to yourself, my friend.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I often look to the sky for solace of a sort - it's always there. Bit like some people do with the sea.

Lots of people here are down at the mo and I assumed it was the grey wintry weather but perhaps it is something about this time of year regardless of the climate or season - a feeling of ending. Now I am depressing myself.

Amazingly I am OK this year and I hope your Black Dog will leave you in peace soon.

xx

Jesenia said...

i really really did enjoy all of it great pictures..