Wednesday, January 23

Trying to Walk The Line.

Aint misbehaving... really!Leo has had a face trim, & a couple of pounds of his wool clipped off. He was very good while I did this, so that is an improvement too. I guess he figures any attention at all is ok!

We had SG yesterday, & it was so hard to convince him he was not to cuddle Leo or let him lick him.
"But he loves me Nanna!"
It is not an easy thing to stick to. Gom had a little gripe to our Daughter J this morning.
"They wont let me play with the dogs!"

We are still sharing our car with our daughter. You don't want to know the saga behind that, & it seems a farcical tale, quite beyond belief.
All I can say is, if you are thinking of buying a used car, NEVER buy a Mitsubishi Magna!!
NOW they find out they have dodgy tranmissions. NOW they find out they seem to be unrepairable.


This was the mornng view from the balcony looking to the East.


Somehow it looked a lot better than the view looking South!



We have been out & about getting small luxuries like deodorant, & vinegar.
We dont use a lot of vinegar, & the malt vinegar we had, was found to contain a large 'beast' of some sort! I am not sure how old the bottle was, but it was a bit scary to contemplate how long it might have been in there, & I had used the vinegar unaware it was lurking there.

I sincerely hope the last time I used it was for cleaning. I suspect it was, but none of us have died or been ill, so I guess no harm done.

As we came home, & drove around the large roundabout on the Highway, we saw Emergency Vehicles, Ambulance, Tow Trucks, Police, all congregated on a small road off the roundabout, that more or less leads nowhere. Just a Tyre company, a Car wash, & a Bottle shop. Of course we wondered, What the??

Then we saw a car, flipped onto it's roof. Lying there like a beetle, it's 'legs' sticking up in the air. For the life of us, we could not understand how such an accident could have happened. We didn't stop to rubberneck, or clog the traffic. We live within walking distance, & can in fact still see the vehicles at the scene. I hope no one was hurt.


*****

I never dreamt, in my youth, that I would turn into my Grandmother. I stare in disbelief, when I do look in the mirror. It is not something I want to do, these days. Who wants to realise they are now their own Grandma!

At first, when people said it, I paid no heed to what they said. Increasingly, I am beginning to realise it is true, & must have been for some time.

Not that I disliked my Grandmother. I loved her dearly. She loved me dearly, & was a wonderful Grandmother. I loved her puffy hugs, her soft body, her kind concern, & love that shone from her eyes. She seemed to be the perfect Grandma. But after all, who wants to be their grandmother, regardless of how much they loved them.

Sure, I wanted her wisdom & her breadth of knowledge. Her non judgemental ways of looking at people. Her patience & tolerance with people. Her gentility.
Selfish as it sounds, I didn't exactly want her figure. Perhaps not even her face.

I knew I was never going to turn into my mother. By the time I was about 12 I was taller than my mother, & ended up much taller, & though I was very slim when I was 19, & could share clothes with her, it was inevitable I would get a little larger as the years went on. The fact the I got a great deal larger is hard to realise.

In a way, I am glad my mother is now dead, & cannot see how large I am. haha. I always felt rather like an elephant around her, once I had grown to full maturity. Her feet were so small, she had trouble finding shoes to fit. Her tiny waist remained tiny.

I kid myself I am not gargantuan. I am puffy, like my Grandmother was. Had I taken after my paternal Grandmother, I would have been tall & angular, & looked somewhat severe. Perhaps I do look severe?

Who ever sees themselves as others do? Being the photographer, I rarely see photos of myself. I tend not to look in mirrors, if I can avoid it.

Jean Michel Jarre, Equinoxe Part V.

15 comments:

jellyhead said...

Meggie, we have all seen photos of you, are you are neither gargantuan nor puffy. You look lovely. And more importantly, you ARE lovely.... clever and incisive in thought, with a great droll humour, and warm and loving to boot.

All those who love you must think you truly beautiful.

sueeeus said...

You are young! And you have an amazing varied music collection the likes of nobody grandmotherly that I know of. That was an impossible sentence, but it was meant to be a compliment!

I'm leaning towards the word 'magnificent' to describe my physical form. I look at books with my son and we point out the magnificent walrus and elephant and how neat they are, and the sleek zebra and giraffe, and how neat they are, and it dawned on me that we don't have to look like the spotlit few in order to look and be magnificent. All creatures are different and splendid in their own way. Personally, I admire the walrus much more than the zebra. :) And I resemble it much more too!

Mary said...

You are brave to clip Leo yourself - I take Chesty to the *beauty parlour* for his clips and it is funny how skinny he looks afterwards - wish I could lose 10 lbs that quick!

Lovely photos - I'm always the photographer too but have gotten better about handing the camera off for Keith or one of the boys so we have some photos of me too. Of course, I make them take several so I can hopefully find a flattering one.

Ali Honey said...

You are not being kind to yourself!

It stands to reason that we are going to look like / take after our own parents or grandparents - rather than some body elses .

I have inherited a few things from the female side of my family I'd rather be without, but we don't get to choose.

Somewhere I read " make sure you choose your parents wisely! "

Joyce said...

We all turn into someone we didn't expect to. I for one was sure I'd always stay young. Hmmm... what happened? Your post reminds me of the old saying, Too soon old, too late smart. That's me.

Peggy said...

I see more of my mother in me everyday. She and my dad were short chubby people. I am following that path. I also hear myself sounding more and more like her too. I had promised myself I wouldn't. :(

Reluctant Blogger said...

I don't look in mirrors either. It means I sometimes walk around with food on my face of course, but it is still better than facing up to reality!!

But it is not how we look that is important, is it? And aging is just inevitable - as for most people, is getting larger.

But I would never have wanted a thin grandmother. Grannies should be warm and soft and cuddly and round and smell of powder. I will probably have a different view when I reach that stage myself and with a 19 year old daughter I guess I may not have to wait too long! Yikes!

My mother is very tiny too - it is a weird thing somehow to be much bigger than your mother. Well, it always seems that way to me - she makes me feel gawky and clumsy!

Mike said...

Every time I look in the mirror, I see my mother staring back at me. It's scary.

Joni said...

Well it looks as if Leo is coming around. At least he is looking at the camera this time! Hopefully his training will take effect and it will be business as usual there. Ugh, please don't ever let me see my Grandmother when I look at myself in the mirror. God love her.

ancient one said...

I didn't know my mother's mom. She died when my mother was young and there are no pictures of her.

So people sometimes tell my mother that I look just like her... but then my mother protests and says no June looks like me when I was younger... so how do you think that makes me feel? LOL

smilnsigh said...

Hate pics of myself 'cause I don't like my shape. Or how my mouth usually looks. When I show a pic of me, it is..... an event. lol

Yes, feel wonderfully *privileged* to see the one on my blog! lol

Mari-Nanci

Yolanda said...

Leo is adoreable.Thanks for sharing his photo.

Thimbleanna said...

I'm so with you on the grandma thing Meggie. I even blogged about it around my birthday -- why is it that when I look in the mirror, I see my beloved grandma looking back out at me? Several years ago, I saw my cousin after not seeing him for about 30 years. In dismay, I blurted out "You look just like Grandpa." I now know, in spite of the fact that we adored our grandpa, that must have been just a bit of "Wow -- look how old you've become!" Oh well, as they say, it's better than the alternative!

Tanya Brown said...

Reading your story and these comments has reminded me a time when I crammed not only my foot but much of my leg in my mouth. While looking at some photos of my grandmother from the 1920s or 30s, I said (with an unflattering air of surprise) "gee, Grandma, you were pretty when you were young!"

As Jellyhead and a few others have pointed out, we're all quite aware that you're a stunner AND you're able to pull off wearing some really amazing hats. I'll bet your mother was proud of you both for your appearance and character until her very last breath.

Q said...

I did not know my Grandmothers very well. I wish had. I often wish I had the memories of a kind and loving Grandmother. I decided some time back I would be my own Grandmother. I would be the one I so longed for. I could give to myself all the kind words and deeds a Grandmother would bestow on a favorite Granddaughter. The only problem is I too have become puffy. My ideal Grandmother was not puffy. LOL
Now I am working on removing the puffy and becoming an active, slim and trim sort of grandmother!
You are witty and kind and I bet your Grandmother would be ever so proud to call you, "Granddaughter."
The clouds do look threatening.
Stay dry if you can.
Enjoying your photos of the flowers.
Sherry