It is a very stange emotion to deal with in our lives. I suspect everyone has their own particular agenda, on the 'grief scale', for want of a better term.
I suffered an emotional meltdown/breakdown, (call it what you will) some years ago, over a seemingly trivial event. I could not understand it at the time. It was explained to me, that it was the result of a build-up of several events, a sort of emotional 'straw that broke the Camel's back'.
As it happened it was a female 'fill-in' GP who pointed out to me, the links. I was surprised, to realise the truth in her observations.
My regular GP was a very nice man. A gentle man. He was always somewhat discomfitted by overt displays of grief. I always felt he disliked seeing women cry, & his wife attested to the truth of that observation.
I felt sorry for him, when I cried, & upset his equalibrium. I knew he had problems of his own. Due to his wife's candid nature, I was aware of his grief over his beloved daughter's sudden uncharacteristic behaviour.
This resulted in me trying desperately not to add to his distress. I tried hard, to suppress my griefs. I can see that, with hindsight.
I had suffered a couple of cancer scares. One proved to be unfounded, the tumour is benign they assure me. I believe them, for if it is not, I would surely be dead by now!!
The other was 'cured' by surgery, & removal of all danger. Physical at least. The mental may not have completely gone.
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On to other items. On to Free Treats.
Veronica, gave me this Friendship Award.
Thankyou Veronica, for this. I urge you all to take a look at Veronica's wonderful blog.
Everyone knows I am a notorious rule breaker, so if you would like this award, please take it. All on my blogroll are friends. All I ever visit are friends in the blogosphere. Please feel free to take & share!!This next photo is for Veronica.How I wish you could eat a slice- before Gom gobbles the lot!!
This is a Passionfruit Sponge I made today. In the interests of Gom's health, I cut the cake in half, & gave the other half to my Daughter & her family.
Yes, fresh whipped Chantilly Cream. Yes, fresh Passionfruit Icing, with melted butter to mix! only a little butter though. None in the cake, so really, low fattening points??
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In other treats, I found a book that has grabbed me. I had read somewhere that this book was quite compulsive.
I can report it is!! Absolutely!!
I bought it, cheaply, at a Garage sale yesterday, & I have scarcely put it down!
" It" is "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. I am finding it gripping, & I love the fact that it is 'written' by a murder victim.The other small book is a new addition to my collection of miniature books, & at a dollar, it is well worth it! It has some ironic quotes, one of which is, Your Doctor can never be your friend. hmmmmnn.
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When I took the Sponge down to my daughter's I was given gifts they had bought us, whilst on their trip away.
Look, wonderful Special Jam.
And.. the giveaway label under the Jam... the Darrell Lea Chocolate, which is an Aussie specialty.! Yes!! We love our Darrell Lea Chocolate Treats!
Well, Gom is a sucker, & I can be forced to enjoy one or two, now & then.
Gom got RockLea Road, I got Almond Crusted Hand Rolled Egg.
Self Indulgence seems so wrong somehow.
Lead me to the pool, for gentle exercise!!
I know this dates me, but I do not care. I am proud of all the ages I am!!
Carly Simon, Coming Aroung Again.
29 comments:
Oh, the Lovely Bones: what a terrifying and heartbreaking book....written from experience, sadly...
I'm sorry about your grief. Bit it is good you have identified it. Know thine Enemy, I always think.
And what an amazing cake! Sponge! What a star chef you are.
BUT.
not bit...
I am familiar with the ghost called grief who can still, after many years, sneak up on me and make me cry.
The ache for someone long gone stays with me but I can and do smile again and so will you.
Dear Meggie, the painful feeling caused by death is perceived differently from each person, but it always leave a sign difficult to forget.
ciao ciao
Keep fighting the good fight: whether it's dealing with the grief or eating healthily.
BTW it may be just me but your new blog seems to take a while to load.
Good thoughts being sent to you. I know what it's like to deal with grief...so try to keep your head up!
The Lovely Bones is a fantastic read. I'm glad you enjoy it!
Oh Meggie -- I hope you can find a way to deal with your grief. That's a subject I don't do well at myself. In the meantime, that cake looks DIVINE!
It is interesting that you are dealing w/ your grief right now and that you found the book "Lovely Bones". Wow. I read the book as well. I found it to be quite powerful, interesting, disturbing...
I LOVE Carly! And, perhaps I am dating myself as well!
The cake- WOW! Never heard or had anything like it. Looks delicious.
And, I was thinking about you adn your blog this morning. I was thinking of that beautiful picture of the camillia w/the heart. I really love that photo- adn love that I am still thinking about it!
Thank you so much for sharing some of your free treats!
I love Carly too. She is ageless and timeless. I love her because she was a favourite at home and I've taken her along with me.
Take comfort that we are all praying for your strength to overcome the grief.
Stay strong and time will give you rest. The cake will give you a break! It sure is a treat to my eyes.
Thanks
That cake looks fantastic! Feel free to drop by with a cake for a natter any ol' time!!
The sponge and filling both look so yummy. I'm unfamiliar with the name of the filling but I love creamy ones such as it appears. I've just read the posts below on which I was behind in reading. Before forgetting I want to comment on how much I like the new look on your blog. Also wish to comment that I too am so fond of the cool and clear autumn days, those which are sunny and without humidity but cool enough for a sweater are just fine with me.
I didn't like the Lovely Bones, and I can't imagine how it will translate to film (Peter Jackson aka Lord of the Rings is apparently working on it ). I found it unsatisfying. I hope your old grief anniversary becomes less painful with time.
it is always a relief to share one's grief Meggie. So thank you for sharing both your grief and your friendship because that is life and friendship... sorrow and happiness, in good and bad times. All combined :-)
Have a great week
peace and love
xoxo
I'm sorry to hear of your breakdown. I think they call it stressor-overload - just too much to handle. I'm so glad you are better.
That cake looks absolutely delicious! Very little butter, you say? It must be good for you.
I read that book - it was really good. Fascinating in a very weird way.
Sometimes when I am feeling down and cannot put my finger on why I'm feeling that way... I ask myself who died on this day? And most times I will find a friend or relative and remember it's their death day.... I've heard of others doing this same thing... Hope your grief passes soon...
Haven't read that book...
Your cake looked delious..
~ann
self knowledge is good...but so difficult to achieve.
Breakdowns are always the result of an accumulation of psychic rubbish. It's God's way of making us take a deserved break, as traumatizing as it can be.
The passionfruit sponge looks marvellous.
I loved that book. Enjoy.
Sorry to hear about your other difficulties. This too shall pass.
You sound reflective. Sending you much love. That cake looks absolutley divine. Yum!
The Lovely Bones is a great book. I've heard they might be making it into a movie. I'm curious to see how that will work out, to be honest.
Your passionfruit sponge had memories come flooding back to me. I'd forgotten how my grandmother used to make those too.
Meggie, I went through a similar experience as yours, and it changes who we are, doesn't it?
I love, love, love this song, by the way.
Cheers!
Hey, I love that song too. I feel guilty even saying that. Ok, I have to go listen to some Lady Gaga now.
I haven't yet read 'The Lovely Bones' although it is on my 'to read'list.
As for grief ... it creeps up and bites you on the bum, doesn't it? I didn't let myself 'go' over the death of my father until my cat died almost a year later, so I can totally relate.
Take care. x
Oh Meggie!!!!! I was blown away by the photo of the Passionfruit Sponge Cake - I swear I could taste it - bless you and thank you so much for posting the photo.
Jo's right, grief does change us. But we never seem to know what it is doing to us, and how do we 'deal' with grief? How to put pain in a box and close the lid? Sharing the grief helps I think. Time and 'distance' often helps but I'm not convinced that we can ever leave it totally behind us.
And yes; great, great song!
Hugs and love to you my dear friend, Vxx
I also loved this book - so clever in the end. Had it recommended by someone in Blogland, can't even remember who now but I probably wouldn't have picked it up otherwise, glad I did!
Fabulous looking cake Meg!
I too found it impossible to put that book down.
My own teaset was plastic - not nearly as special as your family one. I wonder what happened to mine? I didn't get to clear out my folks house so only have a few things my big sister kept for me....
I must, must, must have sponge cake recipie!!!!!
I can total understand the breakdown, I've been in therapy in two years over mine!!!!!!! I think I am overcoming it though.
Fight on!!!
I think I understand that build up to a breaking point. I'm surprised at myself sometimes when such a small thing will send me panicing when I know that I have had the same thing happen before and been able to shoo it from my mind. It is good to get the pressures off daily...
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