Tuesday, February 13

Would you change, -any, -all??

Just before I get onto todays thoughts. This was the sunrise story this morning, looking out to the east. We had been hoping for further rain, but it hasnt arrived, in spite of some heavy duty looking clouds. The huge tree in the centre of the pic is a huge old Gum tree. I am glad it is not close to our house!

It seems the post yesterday about the old Button tins/jars/etc, stirred lots of memories in everyone..

My Grandmother had an amazing memory for things & she could tell a story about almost any button I chose to ask about. I loved the old leather buttons, off men's coats. And I still have a beautiful carved old mother-of-pearl button, that I treasure. And now I have my mother's button tin also, so have a lot of memories in there, too.

Something I think about often these days, is being a teenager.
Oh those angst ridden years! I wouldn't want to relive those years for any thing in the world.

The terrible anxiety when you were about 11- or in some girls cases, only 9 or 10. Will I grow breasts? What if mine dont grow? How will I know when they are growing? How will I be able to tell if they wont grow?

Then the awful embarrassment when they did start to 'sprout.' Oh how can I hide them. Dont they look silly, poking out through my cotton dress. "I need to wear a cardigan, NO I am not hot! "

Then there were the hours spent in front of the mirror, looking at your hair. Why isnt my hair straight/curly/wavy/blonde/dark/red, like my best friend. All the boys love her -why cant I look like she does.

Trying out different hairstyles, deciding in my case, to grow my hair long, so I could tie it up, or do it in the 'French Roll' that was the fashion in the day.

And then there was all the anxiety about boys. How to know when they were not just pulling your leg? How to talk to them without blushing -a terrible deep red that just wouldnt go away.

Oh no, I wouldnt wish to relive those years, I definitely would not!

I dont know whether I feel the young ones these days have it easier, or harder. I sometimes think they are grown too soon these days. But there are some things I think they are luckier about. There are not so many 'secrets', they can talk about just about anything, if their parents are approachable. I think young mothers have it harder in some respects.

For teenage girls, the passage is not easy. I suffered from terrible menstrual cramps, & would bleed so heavily, my uniform would be soaked on arrival home. I was a pretty 'mean' character at times when I was about 16, & I suppose I suffered from PMT. But of course in those days it was never talked about, nor dealt with, the way it can be today.

I am sure it was just as painful for teenage boys too. Suffering from all sorts of insecurities, & sometimes terrible acne. Which must have been really painful & was often disfiguring, & yet I found myself quite often attracted to boys who had scars, or 'interestingly ugly' faces.

The absolutely most handsome boys, were the big Maori lads, whose beautiful satiny brown skin & good looks were irresistable to most of the girls in our classes. And they seemed not become victims of acne the same way the Pakeha lads did. Or perhaps we didnt notice.

I was rather lucky with my teenagers growing up. I had a few 'steaming love dances' as we used to call them, now & then. But on the whole they were not badly behaved kids, & we feel we got through very well. They used to bring their friends home to our place, to spend time, & stay often, & they would all gather on a Saturday evening or afternoon at our place. We had a large house, & a lovely pool then, so we were fortunate to be able to welcome those kids.

My brother & I couldnt really have friends home like that. Our Grandmother's house was very small, & she was past wanting noisy loud kids, rip roaring about. But I think it made both my brother & I determined to let our kids have all the friends they wanted, home to visit. And my brother's boys have friends who regard their parents as almost second parents.

And in GOM's case his mother made all comers welcome, so he always had friends to play & stay also.

I have had a very nice day. I got taken, unexpectedly, out to lunch! It was lovely & now I need to have a little siesta, perhaps. Too many nice things to eat!


Alice said...

You have such a knack for awakening memories. Yes, the teenage years - although all my experiences were in my head.

Having left school before I turned 14, I spent the next six years living and working on the farm. My only outings were Church and Girl Guides once a week (until I was 16) and shopping once a fortnight. I had no social life whatsoever - never went to dances or movies, etc. - and I thought I was perfectly happy. I realise now that I was incredibly lonely, even though I had four younger siblings, and my closest 'companions' were my daydreams.

At the age of 20 I went to work in Melbourne for a year, before returning to the farm and getting married 3 years later to the only boyfriend I ever had. We're still together nearly 40 years later, so at least something worked out for the best.

meggie said...

Hi Alice, You must have been lonely, but perhaps didnt feel so many pressures we did in a small town community. I went to work in the local telephone exchange after leaving school, while I waited to turn 18 so I could go nursing.

Do write another blog about your young memories- I really enjoyed your last one about school days.

Stomper Girl said...

I remember my mother being very vigilant about bra-fittings for me because her own mother did nothing for Mum about this issue.

It will be all very different for me with only boys to talk to about puberty etc!

It is such a confusing time, I definitely wouldn't want to go through teenage years again. When I look back I don't think of my teen years as being happy ones...

Shelina said...

You certainly do bring back memories Meggie, and so good that you can still remember the angst so that you can be more empathetic towards your kids.

Henri said...

Meggie , Our Grandmother could tell us amazing stories about almost any subject we cared to mention , buttons or not . I too loved the Buttons & stories attached ,I am glad you have Mary's Buttons.

joyce said...

I think youth is vastly over rated. I enjoy being my age. Although it is fun to remember the good old days once in awhile, I wouldn't want to go back there.

mjd said...

My early teen years were difficult for me too. Reading your entry, I felt like we must be sisters because the things you mentioned happened to me. When we had children, I was sort of hoping for boys. I thought that teen boys must have an easier life. Now, I know better. However, life in my 60th decade is grand, and my sons are fine young men in their 30's. Yes, let's not relive those teen years.

teodo said...

I would never change the way I am right now! All the past experiences made me like this..and I'm happy! ciao, ciao.

velcro said...

Puberty was so embarrassing. I didn't want anyone to know I was wearing a bra or had my period or indeed was growing up. And looking at the FB with his little 3 year old feet it is hard to imagine him in 12 years or so with great big smelly teenage feet and acne.

Sheila said...

I enjoyed reading this, it brought back memories of my own teen years. Some good , some not so good. My first real love was my husband and we married within a year of meeting, when I just turned 19. We are still married, (39 yrs) and are grandparents.
But I would be lying if I said I wouldn't want to be a teen again. Not now, but back in those days..perhaps distance lends enchantment, but I had so much fun..!

Mrs. Goodneedle said...

I loved being a teenager, like Sheila I married my first love, too. 32 years of marriage in May! But, yes, you bring back the memories of all those anxious feelings we had, as if our concerns were the only ones that mattered, too!