Thursday, September 25

Odd & Imaginary Conversations.

Why does such a sweet perfume, bring on so many sneezes?
Sweet Jasmine, dripping from the neighbour's garden. Over the trees, in unruly fashion. No gardener, the neighbour, he lets it grow in wild profusion, to the annoyance of another neighbour, who leans over the fence to trim it back!

This member of the Fuchsia family flowers in wild disarray in our garden. No perfume. Just the bright splashes of colour. It was contained in a pot, but it has escaped, & established itself in the soil.

Standing in the kitchen, preparing a chicken loaf. No spring onions, so decide to go for the garlic onion option. Heat a little oil to saute the garlic & onion.
A slight popping noise. I turn to be confronted by a wild fire in a saucepan!
"Holy Moly, who knew that oil would go up like that? "
Grab the dishcloth, cover the flaming saucepan. Flames out. Make foolish mistake of taking cloth off again.
"Whoa! Here we go again!"
Rushing outside, taking cloth & fiery saucepan. Cover again. Crisis over.
Gom running into the kitchen to see what the commotion is about.
"@#$56 #$$^^!!"
The smoke alarm didn't even go off! The house filled with smoke. Meggie's knees knocked a little.
"How lucky I was standing in the kitchen right next to the stove!"
It is not the first time I have had a blazing fire, with no fireplace. It is the first time I have ever had oil catch fire. Another time was in the oven, (no not the human oven) when a pie leaked & the centre burned on the bottom of the oven floor.
"*$%^&!" & other colourful words!
Yet another fire was in a hedge. Sitting about the kitchen drinking coffee with BFJ & Beloved Brother.
Those were the days when we were foolish smokers.
Flicking the butts out the open window.
Sudden sight of burning hedge!
Leaping about laughing & flinging saucepans of water out the kitchen window!
"Who would have thought a cigarette butt would light a hedge?"
Mother, not at all impressed, when she returned home, to find a gaping hole in the hedge.
"How did that happen?"
We lived in New Zealand. It was not prone to tinder like OZ.

Op Shopping Jaunt.
Op shop has relocated to larger premises. Much more spacious, with 5 rooms, plus a kitchen for the Volunteer Staff, who man the shop.
There is a huge room, out the back where the electricals from the Ark ancient kitchens are kept. Some crockery, cultery, slightly tatty toys, huge furniture items. A few odds & ends like fabric, craft magazines, old recipe books. Tired knitting needles, a few balls of yarn of doubtful origin.
The 'ladies' who sort & get all the best stuff first display the donations, of all types have an area at the back. It is partially screened.
Voices floating over the wall.
"Well she has the nerve to be complaining"
"Is she just! Who does she think she is"
"Who is? Is it the one with the red hair?"
"How old is she?"
"I'll be having a word with her."
"She might be invited to leave."
It seems volunteers are just as b!tchy as paid staff!
Goodness, bickering in a Charity shop representing A Christian Organisation!
There is a very large cheery man, who may be 'challenged', 'organizing' some books. He has an old pram, which he is filling with the books from a large cupboard. He is not gentle with them.
I am tempted to say "Steady on!" but I bite my toungue.
In the book room, each wall is lined with bookcases. The books are rather well displayed too, with categories!
A shame about Mr Braying Ass, standing in the middle of the room, on his cell phone, acting as if the Book Room is his personal phone booth. Bellowing about how he has been in bed with the 'flu for a week.
"This is my first day up Mate!" "I tell you I am still Bloody Crook!"
I had been about to enter, but on hearing Mr Ass, I hastily retreat mentally castigating him for spreading his damn germs about a very confined space.
"Get home you fool" I mutter quietly.
I would have loved to say to him, "So, you have had the worst flu you can recall, & you just thought you would do the charitable thing, & bring it here to share with everyone, then?"
I wander through the clothing room, wondering about shirts for quilts. Perhaps not, they are not very attractive today. Some days they are all cheery & Hawiian. Or Cheerful Checks. But not today. I can still hear Mr Braying Ass roaring away & now, coughing! In that small room. Contaminating all the books! Over the head of a small child, who is quietly trying out all the children's books.
Finally Mr Braying Ass gets off his phone, & goes off out. Mr Largely Challenged charges into the book room with his pram, & begins flinging books about the floor!
Perhaps the book room can wait for another day.
On I move, into the room of 'Better Quality China, & Crystal, & Knick Knackery'.
"Ooh look at this. Myrtle used to have one of these."
"Yes I remember it. It is very ugly. What would you use if for?"
I sneak a look, to see what they are talking about. I see a 60s style segmented platter. I remember them at parties with horrible little saveloy things on sticks with bits of pineapple & gherkin, or cherries.
I remember seeing those things that had been on sticks, regurgitated on the path outside the parties later.
I have been looking for a salt & pepper set. We have several odd ones, where either salt or pepper has got broken. I find a nice brand-new-never-been-used set for $2. They are large, & with a bit of luck need only be filled about once every 6 months, as we are not huge salt users.
I move on out, with my quilting magazine, my fabrics, & my salt & pepper set. All mine for $4.
Gom waiting in the car, very derisory about the Salt & Pepper set. Now they have been washed & filled, & we are using them, he remarked at how nice they are. I just smiled, & said things to myself, in my head.
I really must make an effort to get onto some sewing!
When my friend V was here, she couldn't get over how much fabric I have collected. I assured her my stash is much smaller than many. She was staggered. She is a new quilter so she will no doubt learn, that too much is never enough!
Now where is that MOJO??
Neil Diamond, Cracklin Rose


Mike said...

The colors of your spring/summer are so much like the colors of our fall. Maybe not quite as vivid, but very similar.

Tanya Brown said...

You are a genius at description and characterization. A closeted novelist?

Granny J said...

When I was young -- and when my mother before me was young -- one had The Drawer. This is where the stash of fabric was stowed away, fabric that had been purchased on sale or as a remnant or just because it was so attractive. When it was time for a new dress, the starting place was The Drawer...

bluemountainsmary said...

I love that we all identify with different parts of your stories.

I love the smell of jasmine.

The scent of lillies makes my eyes and nose ITCH!

Linds said...

The charity shop story is exceptional. I was standing there with you. I could just see it all - and you know, it is just like that in ours here too! Same types of people, same thoughts from me! Same treasures to be unearthed too.

Fires - thank heavens you were right there, Meggie.

Joyce said...

You've gotta love the Op Shop. I have thought of volunteering to get first dibs on everything good but I'm afraid I'd come home with a car full every time. I don't resent them getting first pick because I think it is in lieu of pay.

méri said...

Beautiful photos!
Spring there, Fall here!!!
(thanks for your nice words:))

Kitty said...

You made me laugh Meggie - I love Charity Shops, and can 'relate' wholeheartedly.

As for the fires ... it's because you're hot stuff ;-)


ancient one said...

You almost made me want to go to the thrift store.. almost.. but I'm not going.. I've told myself I do not have room for one more thing... I can't, I can't, I just can't!!

Loved this blog... always love the conversations you over hear.. you do have a way with words..

Isabelle said...

Enjoyed your stories as usual.

Pauline said...

Checking - boxes of fabric under the bed, a box of baking soda near the stove in case of grease fires, a penchant for charity shops - yep, you're my sister. I knew it!

Henri said...

Meggie ,HaHa ! I had all but forgotten the Famous Hedge Fire -- Think it did it the world of good actually -- thinnned it out nicely , allowed for regrowth & also let our horrible dingy dark flat to get some natural lighting too .No , Mary was not amused was she !
Can relate well to the Op Shop story too -- Remember the smarmy sod in the one horse town of N. who smugly told us that one man's rubbish is another man's rubbish ?while his prices were astoundingly high for utter junk.

Thimbleanna said...

Haha Meggie. Is sounds like your GOM is like mine. When he first sees something he doesn't like it, but then suddenly he'll love it. We have to break things in slowly.

Hope you find your sewing mojo!

Jellyhead said...

Hiya Meggie. Your posts always make me smile! My favourite from this post is Mr Braying Ass.

Salt & pepper shakers, quilting mag and fabric - $4; a big grin at Meggie's quirky funny post - priceless! ;-)

Marja said...

Oh Meggie how I will miss your hilarious stories. I had the flame in the pan before so I can relate to your adventure.
I love to find bargains Opposite from were I work is a salvation army shop and I came home with several treasures (and rubbish) from there.
Just came to say bye and give you some hugs Take care Marja

Molly said...

Mr. Braying Ass has kin around here......

quiltmom said...

HI Meggie,
I hope that you can find your Mojo- I am sure you will- just go play among the stash- you will find it..

I have posted my first blog post- thought you might be interested in seeing it.

Here is the address for you to check out:


Alice said...

"Strike a light, Meggie's at it again" - although I guess you didn't actually light the oil, did you?

Loved your wander through the shop. Why shouldn't Mr Braying Ass be generous with his germs - isn't it a Charity Shop?

I love the way you make the most mundane, ordinary experience sound like a 'girls own adventure story'

Good luck getting back into the sewing - go for it!!!!

mereth said...

Keryn and I go through crazes for the op-shop stuff, and right now we're 'off' them. I always want to come out and scrub my hands- other people's germs! The worst thing I ever saw was packets of used pantyhose for a couple of dollars-ugh!!!I'd have to be desperate to come at that....
But every now and then we find some fabric so we keep drifting back.
Have you got a lid for the frypan, that's supposed to cut off the oxygen and stop the flames- not that you plan to do it again. As our mum used to say "Just you be Careful!!"

Ragged Roses said...

Oh the smell of sweet jasmine is delicious!
So many great stories as usual meggie, you are a master!

Q said...

I shop thrift stores too! Best places for silk scarves. Makes wonderful wrapping paper for the ladies.
I did laugh. Your stories are always entertaining.
Nice to see your spring blooms.

Anil P said...

In India it is not uncommon to scent jasmine on quiet roads in the dark. It's one of the wonderful things travelig along the back roads.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

There are several pink jasmine bushes blooming in the next-door yard, separated from ours by a high fence. I have tried without success to pry the vertical fence boards apart enough with clippers to get my hand through. The aroma is intoxicating and they are just going to waste over there, while I would give them a very good home.

Sometimes life is simply unfair.