Thursday, November 2

A Question of Reason

Blogger is not being cooperative at the moment, re photos.

Reading lots of lovely blogs, & feeling joy & sometimes sadness for people 'unknown', in reality, but 'known' from their writings, has become something I look forward to each day.

I initially got interested in Blogs through reading an article in Australian Country Threads, by Ruth Buchanan, whose quilts I greatly admire, & also her excellent style of writing, plus her blog, Patterning the World, which was the very first Blog I 'met'.

Since then, I have been 'hooked' you might say.
Thank you, Ruth, for more than just your quilts!

After I got brave enough to try this out for myself, I found I had a lot of help, & also discovered I was having a lot of fun, just blogging about all sorts of odd things that have happened in our lives.

I can see, we are all very different, but I think we are all very alike too. No matter what your age, you still wonder if you are making the 'right' choices.

With the benefit of hindsight, I feel a bit like the words of a song by Don McLean, Crossroads;
"You know I've heard about people like me,
But I never made the connection.
They walk one road to set them free,
And find they've gone the wrong direction.
But there's no need for turning back,
For all roads lead to where I stand,
And I believe we'll walk them all,
No matter what we may have planned."

That has been one of theme songs of my adult life, -life after children. I believe it is true.
I always tell my children I want to have Cat Stevens song, "Miles from Nowhere" played for my funeral, or death dance, or whatever they have.
"You know that my body has been a great friend
But I wont need it, when I reach the end."

I always tell my daughter, when she is fretting over 'not being a "perfect" mother', that no one person ever is, & I truly believe all mothers do the best they can. It may not the be the 'best' from another's point of view, but I am sure no one ever gets up in the morning & says, "Today I am going to be the Crappest Mother I can!" Do they??

Just I am sure we never 'decide' to make a complete 'ballsup' of our days or weeks.

When my children were born, everyone used to say, "It will all be alright once you establish a 'routine'. I got to the stage, where if I had heard the word routine, one more time I was going to leap on to the person saying it, & just throttle the life out of them!! I hated that word. My babies NEVER seemed to fit into routines. It may have been more to do with me, than them. I dislike routines -always have. I like to think of life more in terms of changing rythyms.
A routine would imply you couldnt have a spur of the moment choice - which I loved, & so did the children.

I see a new 'worry' word would appear to be 'balance'. Having read Bec of the Ladies Lounge- who writes so beautifully,- I confess, 'balance' as such never enters my mind. Of course the concept of it does, & when the children were young, we tried to give them -& ourselves- what I would call a 'satisfactory mix'. Which after all, is really balance. When my children were small I was lucky I could be a stay-at-home Mum. When my 'baby' was 5, I became a working mother, but as it was Hotels, & we lived on the premises it was not the same as having to go off to work each day.

I watch my daughter struggling with her 'balancing act' for her children, work, & leisure. It is always she who misses out. Women seem hardwired to make most of the sacrifices.

Now, I suppose i will be deluged with people disagreeing iwth me. Which is good, - & if you do let me know!

Sorry to rave on - if anyone reads & cares.
I explained to my Nice Neighbour that most days my blog almost seems to write itself!

I sincerely hope i have not misquoted the words of the songs, which are from memory. My Beloved Brother is sure to let me know if I have- he has a phenomonal memory for words of the themes of our lives!

12 comments:

Jeanne said...

Humming 'Miles From Nowhere' with tears in my eyes ...
Jeanne, another Cat Stevens fan

helen said...

Hi Meggie - just tapping in to say I read & care - love your stories I'd rather read them then look at a newspaper with the rubbish that is going on in the world today..I have been waiting for your posting today but it took a while to come through....I often sing the song to myself "Always look on the bright side of Life" - it always makes me happy - keep blogging - we enjoy it...

Isabelle said...

Hello,

Love the picture of that beautiful child! I agree with you about working mums. I was lucky enough to stay at home with mine, mostly -didn't start work until my third (and youngest) went to nursery at age 4, and even then I was very part time. If my daughters ever get round to having children, I'm sad to think of them struggling with child care and work. But that seems to be the only way that most young folk can afford to keep up mortgages these days.

I also love your quilts!

Angie said...

I agree wholeheartedly!!! Beautifully said! :D

Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

I always love reading you Meggie, and thank you so much for the mention here!

I don't know the Cat Stevens song (yet!) but I well know and adore the Don Maclean you quoted and it's on high rotation as one of about five songs my kids request from mum at bedtime. And yes, I believe you have quoted it perfectly.

My float said...

Meggie, I was never a person who fit into routines. But once I had my son, I had to change myself to become more routine focused so that I could manage it all. Otherwise it all went to hell in a handbasket. It's also the best thing for my son (and I stress "my, because it's not right for all children). He knows he has to rest at a particular time, and go to bed at a particular time.

But sometimes we go with the flow and, on some occasions like birthdays and Christmas etc), we certainly break the routine.

And also, our activities each day vary depending on my mood! Except for Mondays which (barring activities such as Halloween which I loathe) is always, ALWAYS playgroup!

PS. Lots of reading and caring at this end, by the way. I love your posts.

meggie said...

What kind comments from you all!
Thankyou!
I have just realised I misspelt phenomenal- haha. I used to be so good at spelling!
Cant be bothered to correct it!

Henri said...

Meggie
If we only listen we all have wonderful ' sound tracks ' to our lives. Ours have been & still are marvellous , ' works in progress '

nutmeg said...

I really enjoy reading your blog; today especially. I am one of those struggling with the balancing act at the moment - and I am at home full time. I really do know that I am fortunate to be able to do this and I do give thanks every day. But, coming to the end of five and a half years of it I have to say my life is out of balance in other respects. I do crave adult interaction and an intellectual challenge. See, we each have issues with whatever place life lands us.

As to routines, I do like them to a certain extent. But like you I like to break out of them and "go with the flow". Break off from some same old thing and go on a new adventure. But it certainly can be kiddie dependent.

Women are the ones hardwired to make the sacrifices; and to shed many tears over it; I don't think many people could disagree with you on that :-)

sueeeus said...

Well said -- all of it! Thank you for such a nice post.

Finn said...

Hi Meggie, I have to say "bravo" and three cheers for what you've posted!
One of the things I like the best about blogging is that I can sit down, think for a few minutes and blog about things that wander into mind..the idea of "hopelessness" and whether or not there is more despair in the world today.
Whether it's a trip down memory lane, a rant about something we probably can't change, it feels good to get feedback about it. Often a person maybe hasn't looked at it that way, and will consider a new possibility.
I'm not familiar with either song you quote, but I do like what they are saying.
Probably one of my favorites is "My Way"..that Frank Sinatra used to sing..."Regrets?, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention..."
I don't feel that saying I did my life "my way" makes me hard header or a control freak. It just means I made the decisions and choices...right or wrong. I went with my choice and did the best I could...and I don't believe in whining...LOL
We all make poor choices at times, but if we knew better, we'd chose better. Or maybe not. It makes life interesting.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and songs with us. I truly hope no one feels the need to say negative stuff. Hugs, Finn

keryn said...

I have always adored the idea of a routine, and never been able to put it into practice. Meredith and I have exercise books from when we were 8 years old, with impossible timetables mapped out

8-8.30 Eat Breakfast
8.30 - 10 Write Novel
10-12 Sew doll's clothes

That sort of thing. It's a scream to read them now, but it appealed so much, and it still does. The reality is that I can put a slice of quiche in the microwave for lunch, and discover it when I'm cooking tea that night. Or the next night. I get too distracted.

I find more and more that some songs can say everything about how I'm feeling. When I was a frantic mother I used to burst into 'Life Is A Caberet, Old Chum' whenever events and kids overwhelmed my plans. They thought I was nuts, but I think that you should always be capable of surprising your children.