Thursday, September 6

Things that are Sent To Try Us...

Over the course of a life, there are many things that seem sent to 'try' us.

My eldest son refers to them as "Part of the CCPPO" otherwise known as "The Cosmic Conspiracy to Piss People Off".

One of our Chefs referred to such things as "Part of Life's Rich Tapestry" in a very sarcastic voice, & he usually saved the reference for the things that seemed violently unfair. Like the death of his closest male friend, who had a wife, & very young children.


One of the 'things' that used to get me, was a Geography Teacher we had. I know it is uncharitable to refer to a person as a 'thing'. Sorry about that. His name was Boyd, & he had a face the colour of raw meat. I always expected him to drop dead in the classroom, from some apoplectic condition. His eyes which resembled boiled pearl onions, popped from his eye sockets, as he glared about the room.

He was rather short of stature, & seemed to strut, rather like a pigeon. And he droned interminably on & on & on. And wrote scads of boring things all over the blackboard. Then he would bark, "Copy this into your books!"

I am not sure if he was of Irish or Canadian birth, (I know they are not at all similar, but I just couldn't pin the accent down) but the thing was, his accent was sooo broad I couldn't understand a word he said. And it was monotonous. It could have lulled a screaming baby off to sleep!

Consequently, I did very very badly at Geography, as I could not understand a bloody word, nor could I write fast enough to copy much from the blackboard. I failed dismally at Geography. I wish I could go back, & do it all again, with a teacher who spoke coherently, & now, I could type it all up in no time.

I have no doubt, that over the years, I may have been the source of "Things that try others, sorely". One can't like everybody, & everybody won't like one!

Currently, one of the things that has tried me, is the following toy.
This is truly, the Toy From Hell!!
I bought it when SG was quite small, for a dollar at a garage sale or a Church Fete or some such. I rue the day!!

It had flat batteries when I bought it, so I replaced those, & by Golly, am I sorry I ever did. It is a School Bus. Filled with Animals, which all Bray, Meeow, Neigh, Moo, Roar, Trumpet, Bark or Crow. Not only that, but the bottom buttons represent the sound of the bus being started, turning over, running, & best of all Tooting the horn!!

And the fecking blasted thing, does it all, at TOP VOLUME!! And the batteries seem to be lasting forever!! I have hidden it. I almost gave it away. I cringe everytime SG rediscovers it.

If you see one at a store, or garage sale near you, avoid it like the plague!! I tried to get SG to take it home, but he insisted it was a 'Nana's place' toy. He wanted it to be special, for when he comes to play.

No matter where I stash it, he manages to find it- always with delight!

We had SG here today for a couple of hours while his mother attended a meeting. He was very grumpy & out of sorts when he arrived. Wearing what I refer to as his "Cabbage Face". The first time I mentioned his cabbage face he burst into giggles. Sometimes it still works, & we have slanging matches where we call each other things like carrot nose, & beetroot ears, lettuce lips. Today, he wasn't in the mood for such jokes.

So we watched Mr Bean's Holiday. He really giggled at that. I dont always see the attraction to Mr Bean, but I admit to laughing at him today.

And in other news, I have actually dragged out an old UFO. Well, it is really a WIP. (work in progress). It is to be a table runner. I had all the applique cut out, but not applied, so I finally ironed it all on, & have been blanket stitching by hand. As I watched some very interesting DVDs with GOM.

And here is the rumpled WIP lying on the "design wall" ...er, floor. I still have a leaf or two to applique. Then there are the vine stalks to work...& other bits I may add.
Luckily, it has turned cold again, & so hand sewing is not out of the question. I wonder if I will ever get it finished! haha.



Chris Isaak, I Wonder.

And RIP Pavarotti. A loss to the world of great singers.


22 comments:

Ragged Roses said...

RIP Pavarotti - a beautiful voice. Love the look of your WIP. I remember so many teachers like that, they had a strong sadistic streak in them!! My daughters had similar toys when they were younger, they use to drive us to distraction and we often just threw the batteries away.
Kimx

meggie said...

Kim, because he love it so, I cant bring myself to throw either the batteries or the damn toy away. So I guess, it is my own fault, it drives me crazy! haha.
My mother was just as soft- she would threaten, then, would give in to us!

bluemountainsmary said...

It wasnt until I had kids of my own and took to hiding all the noisy presents they were given by well meaning friends that I realised that I had been guilty of buying noisy presents too (which had no doubt been hidden ) and so the cycle continues.
And I am probably going to buy a pavarotti best of because his was a voice I took for granted after hearing it so often and now I know I will miss it.

Jeanette said...

Hi Meggie,, I bought my grandson a roudy toy when he was here for a weekend. It nearly drove me crazy I didnt relize how noisy it wasIt had buzzes and whistles and all these loud noices I was like you waiting for the battery to go flat.but made sure it went home with them. it dissappeard on there trip home lol...

Linda said...

I have a lovely battery charger, and a set of batteries (all bought at garage sales of course!)
Want me to bring them over? :-)

tracey petersen said...

A quick dunk in a bucket of water will silence your bus. Who takes a whole farmyard onto a bus any way??

Stomper Girl said...

We got handed-down a couple of noisy toys like that - from other parents who might have known better!! But our kids love them, and have had hours of pleasure from them. I just think they should all be fitted with volume switches, in kindness to the adults.

RIP Pavarotti indeed.

joyce said...

I really hope that teacher wasn't Canadian! Lol. We had a push toy called Popcorn that made a similar noise to popcorn popping but much louder. My DD used to cheer her son up by doing baby born (a toy that we don't have over here) advertisements in a heavy German (read Nazi) accent and talk of dropping it off the balcony etc. It had him in stitches no matter how upset he was.

jellyhead said...

I also have found that all the delightful people who have given our kids noisy toys are childless themselves!

At times the toys have just 'stopped working' (ie the batteries have been removed) or simply can't be found ;-)

Ah, it's all good fun. I think. (!)

ancient one said...

I'm a softie like you.. I just took it.. the noise I mean. We had the popcorn popper toy too. I remember us showing it to GS in the store. He grabbed it and wouldn't let go. So it went through the checkout with us. LOL

Aunty Evil said...

Like Bluemountainsmary said, I have been guilty of buying noisy or battery required toys in the past. But not any more! For the last few years, MDH and I have decided that all the kids in our families have enough toys, and they are getting books from now on. Whether they like it or not. :)

Yes, RIP to Pavarotti. One of the(if not THE) purest voices I have ever heard. It was perfect.

daysgoby said...

A thin slip of wool or cotton (or cotton balls, if nothing else) stuffed into the toy's speaker will tone it down.

Two kids into this parent gig, we've started judging relatives by if the toy they send HAS a volume knob or not....

anne bebbington said...

Meggie - didn't you realise that toys like that have been put on this earth for one thing only..... to be bought by existing and more experienced parents for the children of 'friends' who became parents more recently but had always turned up their nose at the giver's children's behaviour stating categorically and snootily that'my child will never smear marmite sandwiches up my curtains' with the sole purpose of getting their own back!!!!!

anne bebbington said...

As for daysgoby's comment about cotton wool - you could just use it as earplugs for yourself to preserve your sanity :o)

Tanya Brown said...

Your tale of the Toy from Hell made me laugh. There are certain toys that seem calculated to drive one insane, and unfortunately they're the often same toys that children adore and get fixated on. My father used to swear up and down that if I ever had a child he'd get it a drum, but so far he hasn't delivered on that promise/threat.

Also loved your story about the geography teacher with the "face the colour of raw meat". There are some truly inspired teachers out there and there are some ghastly ones. As an adult not under the power of the latter, I'd like to interview a few of them/get them on an analyst's couch: "How did you come to the profession of teaching?" "Do you like children?" "Have you ever thought of taking up dentistry instead?"

Good luck on the WIP - can't wait to see what you have in mind for it.

sheoflittlebrain said...

Ahhhh meggie, you're such a good Grandmother..but you probably should try the ear plugs as those toys may be at the root of parental and grandparental deafness..
Love your WIP. Blue morning-glories are a favorite of mine.

Katie said...

Ah you make me laugh!

I remember those toys, the noisy ones that other people gave the kids! These days I look around at my nice quiet empty nest and think....dammit! I'm going to have to baby proof again! Soon! :)

Thimbleanna said...

I swear, Meggie -- how do you remember all these wonderful stories! CCPPO cracked me up and I loved that you and SG play cabbage face. A memory he'll treasure when he's your age!

Fairlie said...

Toys like that swiftly get "lost" in our house. Although I'm not averse to purchasing them for the children of thoughtful people who have given them to my girls in the past!

(And the givers of toys with 243 pieces also go onto my revenge purchasing list.)

crafty said...

The good old noisy toy hey?

They are worse when the batteries are almost flat but not quite, and the mechanism is broken, so it goes off in the middle of the night, singing some painfully distorted slow version of a rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. And you can't turn it off. And the batteries are determined to remain at almost flat, but not totally flat forever.

This particularly delightful toy came as a christmas present from the santa at the childcare christmas party. It is probably still singing away at the tip somewhere.

Alice said...

Your 'toy from hell' reminds me of one that often surfaced at home many years ago. It was a little blue elephant (or was it a monkey?) who was only about 15cm high and played some very tinny drums at a frenetic pace.

But it wasn't us adult children who loved it, nor even our own children. It was my mother! She won it on a carnival stall at the beach when she was about 55 years old, and she loved to bring it out at the most unexpected moments and 'surprise' everyone. She loved the elephant drummer, and we loved her delight in it.

Molly said...

The CCTPPO ! Wow! That's what's been going on around here this week. They found me and have been lavishing their unwanted attentions on me. I wish they'd go target somebody else....