Monday, June 11

A Sad Little Girl

This was a sad little picture taken of me when I was around 3 I think. Apparently I had almost cut off the tip of my left hand ring finger in a car door, & it was troubling me the day this was taken.

Today, I feel just like that sad little image looks.

I have a tooth dying. I have had so many of my teeth die on me, I know the feeling.

And of course, it would never die on an ordinary week day, when there might be a possibility of getting to my dentist for some relief.

No, my teeth have always managed to choose long weekends, or public holidays, so that I suffer maximum pain & discomfort- haha, to ludicrously understate it.

I will last out till later this week, or next, sometime. Then there will be all the gory detail of root canal, & emptying vast amounts of dollars from the bank account.

I am desperately trying to cling onto my remaining teeth. I have no joy from the false ones I do have, & wish to avoid having to get more.

I knew on Saturday morning there was going to be a dead tooth. I woke with paralysed chin, swollen. Told myself it was the facial nerve, which acts up since surgery on a parotid gland. But deep in my heart, I knew it wasn't.


Well, it would seem the rain is over. There are patches of blue, amid weaker lighter clouds. And yesterday, we discovered we have a leaking roof - again. This will be the fourth time we have had to have it repaired.
Compared to the damage others have sustained, we are lucky to get off so lightly. Two boring pictures of the wet damage on the ceiling, & there is another patch in the kitchen, which I have just discovered. But I will spare you that boring picture!

Somehow it fits in with the bleak feeling I seem to have.

I feel a sense of impending doom, some cold fist clenching my heart.


I am not sure.
I keep flashing back in my mind to a birthday party, when I sent my little son trotting off with his gift, for the birthday child, who lived a few doors up the road from our house, and was a little school friend, known by sight to us.
I just had this bad bad feeling about the day. GOM was off at work, as he seemed to always be, whenever there was a calamity, or catastrophe, or turmoil to be sorted.
About an hour after waving farewell to our son, he returned home, sobbing uncontrollably. He was so hysterical, I could not get a coherent word out of him. He just sobbed on, & nothing I did could seem to calm him down. He ran off to his room, & lay face down on his bed, his small body wracked with the sobs.
Eventually, I phoned the mother of the 'birthday boy'. She had no idea my son had even left the party- some hour or so later, which I found very disconcerting. She had no idea why my son might be upset. So sorry. I didnt really know the mother, & realised I certainly didnt want to, at this point.
Finally GOM rang to see how the party had gone. I put our son on the phone, & finally the sobbing subsided. Daddy had said the magic words that eventually calmed our son down. To this day I have no idea what had happened at that party, that had so upset our son. He was so upset that when the mother rang back to ask if he wanted his little bag of party favours, he shuddered & shouted NO!
I have this bad, bad feeling today.
I hope it is just my rotting tooth, & not more sh*t about to rain down on us!


Thimbleanna said...

Ooohhh Meggie -- I hope you're feeling better. Tooth pain is no fun. Your picture is darling -- you were an adorable little girl!

joyce said...

A toothache can color everything about your day. Hopefully it feels better soon or esle the dentist has done something for you.

Quilting Journey said...

Some days are so challenging and so very hard to stay uplifted. When one thing after another seems to go wrong, I always remind myself that it is time for the energies to turn again for a return to balance. Just know that many of us are thinking of you and hoping things will go more smoothly and with a lot less pain. I love the sensitivity you show as you write and your dog babies are absolutely adorable. Hang in there...things will get better in time.

Leigh said...

With those horrible storms all about it is no wonder you have a sense of forboding.
Hope the tooth gives you some let up and that you can see the dentist swiftly.

caramaena said...

ugh, what a rotten day for your tooth to play up. I hope you can get to see the dentist quickly (and not empty the bank account too much).

Glad you survived the storms relatively easily. Hope that water damage doesn't take too much to repair.

anne bebbington said...

Oh Meggie - just sending you big HUGS!!! from the other side of the world and hoping things don't get worse for you today x x x

Ali Honey said...

Oh Meggie,
I hate it like you! Just make yourself do. Imagine if there was NO dentist to go to. ( That usually gets me to go. ) Toothache is certainly worse at night, and yes, mine pick holidays too.
Go take some mega pain relief till you get it sorted.Hugs. Ali.

Angie said...

I'm so sorry you've got those 'haints and demons' riding on your back, and a toothache to boot. :( I get those feelings sometimes too and just wish I could climb back in the bed and pull the covers over my head until whatever is going to happen has happened and we have to get on with the dealing with it stage. That really is an adorable picture of you, what's sad are the feelings it invokes in you when you see it. Wrapping you in quilty hugs and special thoughts today, dear friend. I hope all of this has passed you by very quickly.

fifi said...

Hey, meggie,
What a horrid day you are having . It is awful when a bit of you gives up and disappears. But don't worry, you will feel better soon.
Why such a sad little girl? Only you must know the answer, she looks very lovely to me. You were so pretty!
That story of the party is horrible-so disturbing!

I have felt agitated and awful all weekend actually. I dont understand WHY there is never an in-between, I mean, one minute beautiful, next minute disaster, like everyone has been wishing so hard for rain that suddenly a billion wishes come true at once and all hell breaks loose.

Seems to be a lot of discord and angsty-pants in my nest, maybe because of the weather. Everyone seems down .
Tomorrow will be a better day!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Tooth ache is no small matter - its more than enough to make the best of us want to curl up in ed and shut out the world. So sorry.

The picture looks like a picture of a real trouper though, trying to smile through the pain. God bless.

velcro said...

I hope your tooth calmed back down again or if it didn;t that you could get to an emergency dentist and have it sorted.
I love the photo of you as a little girl, so sweet!

Lucy said...

Low times, when your body is fighting something and your mind battling with a sense of loss and failure(everyone has dreams about losing teeth, it seems to be something deep-seated...), bring with them that sense of something cataclysmic about to happen, and memories which contain a deep sense of loss and lostness, like the one about your son. What a lovely sensitive mum you were to feel it, and remember it, so acutely.
Rarely does that sense of impending doom materialise, I think, so hang on to that; when you've got some relief with the tooth, I'm sure it will start looking better.
Love and best wishes.

Sheila said...

Dental woes always make a dent in your day. I'm sure everything will be okay once the tooth has been seen to. I know the feelings you speak of though, and have learned to head them of.
Thoughts become things, so think good ones.
Good luck..!

sheoflittlebrain said...

meggie, sorry you're having a bad time of it. Toothache is the worst. Feel better in all ways soon.

Tanya said...

You are so very bright and cheerful when you visit my blog, I kind of forget that people might have ups and downs. I hope you are feeling better soon, with tooth (and bank book) or without. It is so depressing when you do all you can and things still don't go the way you want and sometimes won't even stay at an even keel! (I ferverently take care of my teeth too, but when the dentist tells me I need extensive dental work I want to scream "WHY? What more do you want me to do!?") Many hugs and love.

Tanya Brown said...

Oh, my goodness; that is a poignant picture of you at three. It's as though you're trying to smile and please everyone, but the pain is coming through in your eyes.

I am very sorry about the tooth. That's some of the worst pain there is. I'd be inclined to a discreet amount of tippling, myself.

Damned roof. How dare it leak on top of everything else?

Diana said...

Oh, a toothache and a leaky roof! That's enough to put anyone down in the dumps. Once you get that tooth fixed things will be looking better, I promise.

paula said...

Oh, Meggie, I hope it's just the tooth bothering you (and that would be plenty on its own!).

Sending hugs from far away, and hoping tomorrrow is a better day.

Hey! I made a rhyme. Sorry, I couldn't help myself...

Lee said...

Yes, she definitely needs a hug.

Niki said...

Hi there :) Reached you thru Sheila's blog ( I believe lol). Love the old fashioned pic of you when u were little. Gosh, we had water damage like that in our house last year. Wasn't fun. Cost $6,000 to get the roof repaired, and that doesn't include the inside work! sheesh! Fun of owning a home I guess. Blog hugs!

Linds said...

I agree. You need a hug, so I am sending one too. I do hope your tooth is less painful, Meggie. I know what horrible pain teeth can cause, but that is another story. And I am so thnakful for all your encouraging words.... i just wish I knew what to say to make you feel better too.