Wednesday, March 14

The Art of Insult.

Before I get onto the Rant of the Day, I just thought I would post a pic of Honey sharing my seat here at the computer. This is where she likes to sit every morning, if I am in here. And here is Leo, who has just been behaving like a mad thing, roaring up & down the passage with this toy 'Hotdog' which squeaks furiously as he rip roars up & down.

I wish I had the art of insult. It could be very stress relieving in certain instances.
Or I suppose it could be stress making, depending on the situation.
The backhanded compliment can very often be an intended 'insult' and sometimes it can be an ambiguous comment- you can be left in doubt as to whether the person intended it ~ or was it accidental?
My Beloved Brother can be very good at insults when he needs to be. Once, when his wife took their car for repairs, the manager of the workshop told her he wished to 'see her money' before he would proceed with any work on the car. My SIL is Chinese Samoan.
SIL went home, & aroused my sleeping BB from his rest, & informed him of what had happened. BB was a nightshift worker at that stage of their life, & he was never 'gruntled' when robbed of his much needed sleep.
He roared out of bed, lept into the car, & sped off to the workshop.
He whipped out a huge wad of money & wagged it in the face of the workshop manager.
"Is this what you wanted to see!!"
"Yes" replied the still smirking manager, defiantly.
"Well" roared my brother, "Take a bloody good look, because you will never see it again!!"
And he got into the car & sped off. He reckoned the look on the face of the twit was priceless. And they got the car serviced elsewhere, very satisfactorily.
We are still wallowing around in our mire of 'problems'. I am so tired of it all.
I got told yesterday, that someone had spoken & reacted 'like a typical Accountant'. Meaning, that chap had no adventure or was too cautious. And I replied that that is just what we look for in an accountant. The last barstard- oops- accountant we had that had was 'creative, & daring' took us for every cent we had!
What has happened to all the colourful old insult names ?
Mudguard~ meaning all shiny on top, & all much underneath.
Harpic~ clean round the bend.
Morphine~slow working dope.
I suppose there are many more, but I cant bring them to mind at present. I hope there are new ones.
My preferred way of 'getting even' is letter writing, if I have a grievance over something.
I once left a note in a cafe, "Have you tasted this coffee lately? It is sludge!"
I suppose it was a hollow gesture, they probably didnt even read it.... but it made me feel better, & it made Best Friend J laugh.


telfair said...

I roared at this. Number one, the mental image of that deceptively innocent looking little fluffy dog ripping up and down the passage with his Hot Dog squeaking madly!

Secondly, with delight and approval over your Beloved Brother -- Go, you! I cried.

And third -- at your vindication, leaving the note about the coffee sludge. Go, you! I cried again.

quiltpixie said...

we often get just what we're seeking. Unfortunately it soulnds like thye're seeking someone who's not an honest accountant! :-)

joyce said...

I hope everything gets settled to your satisfaction without having to resort to insults. It is nice to have a stock of them handy when you need them though. I always think of them an hour or so later. I'm a "should've said" kind of person.

meggie said...

T, thanks for the comment. I love that story about my BB. He is slow to anger, but boy! can he go once he gets started.
QP, yes that was the impression I got too, about the accountant remark.
J, I usually do a slow burn, & it is only later the fire ignites, & I can think of all the witty things I should/could have said.

I was P'd off with this morning's post. I had it all done, & lost the lot, then it wouldnt publish with the paragraphs! GRRRR.
Also, I have put the word verification back, to see if that will allow Molly & some others to comment. Appatently the could not.

Stomper Girl said...

Your Beloved Brother is my hero. I don't have the knack of insults and comebacks either, so I just love it in other people.

Aunty Evil said...

Ah Meggie, good on BB for that! Smarmy pigs they can be, those mechanics, especially towards women.

I can think of an insult similar to the ones you have listed. You mustn't forget CRAFT. You just say "he/she is good at his/her CRAFT".

C - an't
R - emember
F - *cking
T - hing

meggie said...

SG, Yes he was MY hero for that!

AE, I like the CRAFT also!

caramaena said...

I'm with stomper - your bro is a hero :)