Friday, June 17


I am not sure why I named this post Solace.
At present, there is no solace, other than I am a scooped out hollow, which is frozen. Every now & then a hole appears in the ice, and it flows out as hot scalding tears.

I wanted to write to thank you all for your wonderful kind words of support and your love and kind thoughts. I wish I could thank you all personally.
I have not been much on the computer. My days are often blurs.

I have had a small stay in hospital, a mystery infection of some sort, but now 'they' tell me I am to have cardiac investigation. Like Les, I was glad to get out of Hospital.

I feel I am too raw to write about much.
I will just say, I have double grief, as little Leo is no longer with me. I cannot write about that for now, and I grieve as much for both of my "Leos". Some time I will mingle their ashes and they will always be together.

Gom's favourite quilt I gave him. He spent his last days constantly wrapped in it's vibrant, warm love.

Here he is with his beloved mate.

He gave me these beautiful roses, to thank me for looking after him. We had yellow roses for him at our private goodbye.

 Here he is with his beloved Daughter, on her wedding day. He was so proud he was well enough to walk her down the path to be married. He was so ill, and so tired, he did really well.

Here we are together, just before I took him home to put him to bed. This is the last pic of us together.

This is where it all began, 45 years ago. 

There seems to be no solace for me, at present.
My Beloved Brother and Sister came from New Zealand and spent 6 days with me. I did so appreciate their visit. Family are a type of solace, I know.

Scott Joplin, Solace

Thursday, June 2


Gom passed away peacefully on Sunday night at 1.30am. I am so glad I was holding his hand, when he took his last, peaceful breath.

He had a horror of hospital beds, and of the thought of strangers washing him.
In the end none of that was needed, and we managed to care for him right to the end. We had wonderful help from our Doctor. He made 5 Home visits to medicate Gom, and make sure we were alright.

A Palliative Care Nurse came on Sunday afternoon and fitted a syringe pump, to keep Les completely comfortable. She is a kind, loving, and very empathetic Nurse, and I appreciated her lovely hug as much as everything else she did and helped us to do.

Les did not wish to have a funeral, so we are having a Private Cremation on Friday afternoon, for Family only.

His little dog Leo is so confused and seems to search constantly for Les's return.

Friends, both near and far, are comforting and supporting me as much as they can.

It all seems unreal, really. I have to just take it an hour at a time.

We were married for 45 years, and it is going to be so hard to live without him.

Thankyou for all your caring thoughts you have sent us.

When we first met, GOM always played this song for me, on the local Jukeboxes in Cafes.

Dusty Springfield, I Only Want to Be With You.