Tuesday, October 31

Blogger Lies -again!

I have just tried unsuccessfully to upload some pics, & in spite of it telling me they were done, they are not! GRRRRR!

When my daughter was born, it was in a small crowded Hospital, that had the kiss of doom upon it. By that, I mean it's days were numbered, due to it's aged state, & somewhat primitive facilities.
Walking up stairs, in late 'graunching' stages of labour, was not a nice experience!
The hospital did have an ancient lift, which was mostly out of action! More than one baby was born on the stairs.

DJ was not keen to be born. She was determined to 'hang in there'! I went into labour, waited till I was sure, whizzed off to the hospital- so relieved at last, because she was almost 3 weeks overdue, & I was a huge melon, & my ribs were pushing on my chin! As she was my third child, I had no idea she could be 'late' arriving.

Dr came to see me, assured me she would not be long in arriving- only 'she' was 'it' then, it was pre-ultrasound, so we could only wait & wonder....

When all signs of labour suddenly ceased, the Dr was called again, & when he left, I was a sobbing wreck. The Sister said "Never mind dear. These Dr's are nasty" "NO!" I wailed, "He was KIND! It is this baby, I have changed my mind, I dont want it now!"
Lying there like some huge beached whale! And a BALD beached whale- if you get my meaning! These were the days when you were routinely given an enema, plus the full shave!

So I had to rise from the bed, dress & go home! How bloody humiliating. Dr had assured me the baby was 'small' & perhaps needed to grow a little.

So off I went, GOM not being impressed, as is the way of males.
The second trip, in hard labour, was a dash in the early morning hours. Same thing, agonising climb of the stairs, treated to a further enema, another 'touch up' shave, & off into a labour ward.

And, you guessed it, all signs of labour ceased, utterly & completely. This time they had hooked me up to a drip, that was definitely going to make it happen. Pah! Nothing. They tried giving me something to sniff on. No labour. Dr came again, assured me the baby was still small, they couldnt induce me, go home again, wait.

It was also suggested I had made a mistake, my 'dates' might be wrong. But, of my three children, I know exactly where & when my daughter was concieved, & indeed, my dates proved absolutely correct, when she was eventually delivered, obviously overdue, & weighing 8lb 6oz- in the old measure! And she was 23 inches long.

So, home again, this time not bothering to dress, & almost hysterical. Laboured all night at home, while GOM, (who was BUTH, in those days- Blissfully Unaware, Thoughtless, Husband)slumbered on in happy ignorance, & finally in the morning I knew it was going to happen this time. So I rang the Dr again, he told me to get straight into the hospital. On the way, I made GOM stop, - I hadnt had another pain! Then off again, clutching his arm, almost causing an accident.

And this time, no further enema- nothing left, you might say. No further 'tidy up'either, & by lunchtime, at 12.40pm, my gorgeous daughter was born. In the tiny cramped labour ward, because the delivery theatre was being 'tarted up' & painted to prolong the life of the old Hospital.

A good sized healthy little girl. Who, right until the end, had resisted being born. The Dr said he still had to rupture the membrane, though it was bulging as far as it could! DJ was sealed in there! She has always been a "Mum's girl" & was a lovely little baby & toddler, always so sunny & happy. I cried when she started school, & I missed her happy chatter all day.

BUTH was overjoyed, came rushing up to visit, then rushed off back to work. Then promptly got so drunk he fell into his father's pea stakes, & shredded his clothes! He was staying with his parents, & didnt have to do any 'fatherly duties'. And, of course the MIL was busy being a doting grandmother, & didnt mind about the ruined clothes or garden. ( And wouldnt bring my ex'baby' to visit me- the cow!)

It was the custom those days to spend days in the hospital after the birth, particularly if you had 'stitches'. Which I did. I wont bore you with the hideous details of the heat lamp treatment, or the nurse who shrieked for all to "come & see these huge heamaroids, I have never seen any so large, like huge black grapes!!" And was very surprised when I snarled at her! This was in the days when I rarely swore- well not in public, anyway. And before Teenage children taught me words I never knew!

The girl in the bed next to me, swore relentlessly, all day, every day, about everything from her body to food. One of the nurses lectured her, & told her there were much worse things you could say, if you thought about it, such as "Hairs on men's legs, and toilet seats". Which was quite horrible, & funny, & I have never forgotten it. Often still use it.

We were all out on a balcony, due to overcrowding, & there were 6 of us. There was a fire escape stairway just beside my bed, with a door that could only be opened from the inside. Imagine my horror, when BUTH knocked & shouted "Open the Door, Meggie!" He was drunk,(again!)& bore a huge watermelon, as a gift for me, & he was so proud of himself, much to the amusement of the other mothers. I was breastfeeding , so the nurses scored the watermelon.

Well, I am sad to say, I have tried several times to upload some pics for this blog, just to lighten the mood, as it were. Blogger wont allow it, so I might try again later.

We are having SG today, & he is most unwell. Seems to have a Gastric 'something', & has vomitted most of yesterday & last night. I took him to my nice GP, when I had my visit yesterday, & she assured me he doesnt have appendicitis, & just to make sure he gets fluid. Which is really difficult as he keeps vomitting it out again. His father tells me he seems brighter this morning, so hopefully he is on the mend.

*** THIS is an Edit!!.
When I told GOM how I had blogged about the birth of our daughter, & the pea stakes, he asked me if I had known, that when his father got up to go to work at 5am next morning, he found GOM, sleeping blissfully, still impaled on the Peas stakes!!
Just shows, after 40+ years of marriage you can still learn something new!


Molly said...

Meggie...how I laughed!The enema, the shave ,the drip, the stitches, the agony, the heat lamp, and did you also have the sitz bath and the donut cushion? We also stayed in the hospital for five days, but baby stayed too. GOM falling around, legless in the peas set me off again....Did we ever think the day would come when we would LAUGH about it all?

meggie said...

Agree, at the time, it didnt seem that the day would come to laugh over things.
And yes, how times have changed! By the time AAG was born, DJ only had to have a half shave- moustache style! Then, by the time SG arrived, they left well alone, & just did the 'necessary' things!

I did still have DJ in the hospital with me, but MIL just took over everything else.

h&b said...

What a great recall of a birth story - do we ever forget them ? :)

Even in this day & age ( I had a very large baby, overdue, posterior, in my very small body ), a 5-day stay at the hospy is not unusual. I stayed 4 nights and loved the peace & quiet ( I had a 'no visitors' request ), and yes, I had all the post-birth nasties of tearing and stitching..

As for the shaving, I had a spunky Obs, so kept myself nice down there .. not that I could see what I was doing, but hopefully I made a 'nice' impression .. bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha ! :)

Heather said...

Oh MY.

I did laugh out loud a few times - what a comedic turn of events that lead to your DJ's birth! They couldn't write a movie with that many pratfalls :)

I'm so glad you can look back on it now and write about it and give us all a giggle!

thordora said...

Just the thought of being itchy through the labour is enough to make me want to hit someone.

I do not know how women used to do it without killing someone.