Children

I love this painting.
It belongs to my Neice, & I am sorry I cannot remember the name of the painting or indeed the artist.

It so moved me when I visited my Neice, I took this photo of the painting.

It was purchased in Queensland, from the Artist, by my Neice when she & her husband were over here on holiday. It now lives in New Zealand.


Over the weekend we have seen a fair bit of our Small Grandson. Some of it has been slightly less than attractive. He seems to have developed a habit of almost hanging, physically, from his mother, when she is trying to converse, or give attention to anyone, other than SG.

He does not act like this when he is here alone with us, & it is very vexing for his mother.... as well as the onlookers. I confess, my fingers itched a little, & perhaps if he was my son, he would feel the sting of a clip about the legs.

DJ does not believe in hitting children, to her credit, but I cant help but feel there are times when a well timed little smack can work wonders.

As things have worked out, our two grandchildren, who are both our daughter's children, have ended up being raised as 'only' children. Our Granddaughter is an adult now, so she is (almost) done with her childhood. And now our Grandson has all his growing up to do, more or less as an only child.

I realise children get bored in adult company, & it is always harder for a lone child to amuse themselves, than it is for children with siblings. Though some children seem perfectly capable to do it alone, & our Granddaughter was never as demanding as SG seems to be.

I was lucky to be raised with my brother for company, and our children grew up having each other for company.

Over the years I have often felt sorry for lone children. I realise life doesnt always work out the way it may have been planned.

I have a friend who had a son, & tried & tried to have another child, but it just didnt happen. Then, when the son was 5 she had 3 more children in quite rapid succession- to her dismay.

The eldest was by way of being a 'horror child'. Not sure why, but he did some very bizarre things, to both animals & other children, his siblings included. We never left him alone with our children.

And the worst little witch 'darling' only child I think I ever met, was a girl of about 6, who was the only child of a couple who had achieved the pinnacle of material goods. A huge mansion of a house in the best suburb, a huge yacht, with membership in the top Yacht Club in the city, a successful business of some type.

I was invited for a day out on the yacht. Shouldn't have gone. Loathe being on the sea. In it, yes. But not on it.

Anyway this child was the absolute darling of the aging parents. The beautiful but faded & very tired looking wife, whose lined face, & drooping hair seemed to belie the money that must have been available to spend on pampering. (Though, it was in the days before plastic surgery, & botox etc) The posturing husband, who, I swear tinted his hair, & seemed decidedly vain. Wearing his sailing get out, complete with appropriate cap, to denote his standing in the Yacht Club.

And the child, who was an uglyodd looking duckling- & who knows, she may have grown into a swan- whined & whinged & was rude to all who were invited for the day's outing. I caught the eye of my girlfriend, & she pulled a murderous face behind the child's & parents back. My girlfriend's fiance was intent on impressing the father, so he was being treacly sweet to the child.

The final straw came when the child gazed up at my girlfriend & said, very slowly & loudly, "You are ugly!"

There was a horrified silence, & my friend, who was in fact a young & pretty girl, just shrugged & went bright red.

But the mother's reaction just floored me. She smiled in her faded way, & said dreamily, "They say children tell the truth."
I was so shocked I wanted to lash out & slap both the child and the mother. I had to leave & go up on deck for some fresh air.

As I see it from this distance of time, I suppose the mother was jealous of my girlfriend's fresh youth. I suspect her husband was a flirt, if not a playboy.

I think the parents did the poor little child a disservice, but who knows. Perhaps she grew to be a complete B!tchlovely person.
I suppose it must be very hard, when parents have longed to become parents, & cannot believe their luck when they actually do have a child, not to spoil that child, & give it every possible thing it ever wants. But surely raising a child with so little disregard for others, in such total indulgence, is not really doing the child any favours?

I loved my kids, possibly too much. But there were certain boundaries they were taught, & certain morals and rules to respect others.

Sure all children will blurt out inappropriate things, at inopportune moments. I am sure there is not a parent alive who cant recall some redface horrifying utterance from a child. But there is a vast difference between that, & actually condoning & reinforcing a child's utter disregard for the feelings and rights of others.

OK I will get off the soap box. I am sure I made as many mistakes raising my kids as anyone else.!

And, I have known many lovely people- & children- who were only children, & their parents didnt make them into monsters!

Phoebe Snow, Sweet Disposition.