The Aging Question

No matter how young we feel, or really are, chronologically, we come to the point where we begin to think about our age, & how we will age, should we live for a 'long time'.

My Daughter J, works in the field of Aged Care. She loves her work, & has a real empathy for elderly people, who all seem to love her. She has the gift of relating to them all, even the ones who are suffering from dementia or Alzhiemers seem to respond to her cheerful disposition. She has a favourite who is 99 years old.

That age seems somehow incomprehensible to me. The dear old woman is full of memories, & has her mind intact. Her body seems to be letting her down, a little more each day. My daughter has been told to prepare herself for her passing. Her Doctor has advised, her going will be rather swift, once it begins. My daughter, consequently, treasures ever day she can attend this lovely lady. She is slowing markedly, day by day.

Her daughter, who is not young herself, lives with her mother, & is there for company, night & day. My daughter is so fond of the daughter also, it is mutual, & often, when she is there for a respite visit, she stays to spend the time with my daughter. I wonder how they both will cope with the dear old soul's passing.

The daughter has no daughters of her own. She is so fond of my daughter, I know she will be doubly bereft, when her mother finally goes. It is not encouraged for the carers to continue friendships, with family, once the patient has passed away.It seems so cruel.

It is strange to think about how wonderful friendships can be formed with 'strangers'.

Or, how 'enemies' can be formed without our knowledge. I am always surprised to learn I am severely disliked by someone, who I previously had thought to be a 'friend', or at least, perhaps a 'neutral'.

The old adage about being able to choose your friends, but not your family is true, it would seem. I was shocked when I learned that my sister-in-law disliked me to an extent & depth, of which I had no conception! I had never been close to her, but had felt we got along ok. I have never quarelled with her, nor had 'words'. Not my style.

I know she has a very jealous disposition, & she has had a hard & bitter life. I genuinely never knew the extent of her hatred, & when I learnt of it, I was taken aback. Her own son was shocked. I was gratified to learn he was genuinely fond of me, & had 'defended' me, to his bitter mother.

My Gom is estranged from his sister now. They don't comminicate. I gather she was so nasty about me, my husband was shocked to his core. And, totally puzzled as to why. Thankfully, he has never told me the details. It is not our way, to dwell on such things.

I find I cannot sit in judgement on his sister. I have not walked in her shoes. She has a now-adult, elderly, daughter who is disabled. Our daughter could walk. Our daughter has lived a 'normal life'. Hers could not. I might be bitter & green, should I have walked her path.

Occasionally, I will visit a blog, & comment, to a wall it would seem. I recieve no feedback, or answering comments, & sometimes, read disparaging comments, which seem aimed directly at something I might have blogged about. I let it pass, telling myself it is imagined. But it seems to continue. Eventually, I decide that the person has an acitive dislike of me, for whatever reason, & I quietly stop commenting or visiting.

Such is life I guess. Not everyone is going to like you. Nor will you like everyone, either!

There are so many rich & wonderful bloggers out there, why bother with the ones we find 'don't fit'.



Look at this wonderful planter, my lovely Mrs Nice Neighbour made for her sister.

It is a bird planter, & is quite delightful!
With this wretched carpet, I wish we had the same customs as the lovely Japanese have in their houses, as blogged about by the lovely Tanya.
The slipper idea is what we need to keep our carpet clean!!

I do thank you all for the suggestions re my itching problem. I have not tried Pinetarsol but purchased some today. I consulted with my GP today, about another matter, & we touched on the itch. I have now got an appt with the Professor of Dermatology/Skin or whatever, & it is for 1st July. GP agrees, that is my last hope for an answer.

Oscar Lopez, Thinking Of You.

The Sum of "You".

This is a pic of a quilt I made for my daughter, J. She is very fond of orange, & loved the border on the quilt- well, she loves the whole quilt. I used some blocks using patterns from books, but I made some of them myself. I drew the animals, & the fish, & the scarecrow blocks. This quilt is a larger one I made for my Granddaughter. She loves purple, so that featured in it quite a lot. I made it using a pattern from Patchwork Pumpkin.

I am still resting on my laurels a bit here, as I have not proceeded with much further sewing over the last few days. We have had other things to occupy our time, & it seems quite nice today- not too hot, so I might get some sewing done.

It is something to ponder, the thought that we are all of the people we have ever been, and all of the ages we have ever been. And we carry all of those people inside us forever.

And 'they' make us the person we are today.

And 'they' must surface every now & then, I suppose.

I can still vividly remember being 3 years old, & terrified when my finger got shut in a car door, & the tip of it was almost severed. I relived that feeling & horror when my son got his finger shut in the front door & the tip was only hanging by a thread of skin. And I looked at it, & wished I hadnt. I could see the bone. I just panicked, & stood in the doorway screaming, clutching my son's hand.

I suppose, inside, I was a terrified 3 year old again, with no control. I saw the neighbour at her kitchen window, but she never came to help. I found out later, she had seen the blood, & went to hide under a bed! That was her terrified reaction.

Luckily another neighbour heard my screams, & she came to the rescue, said her daughter had done exactly the same thing, & she calmly got a towel, & just wrapped the whole hand & arm up. Then got her husband to take us to the Hospital. Where GOM came & took over. They had told us it would have to be amputated. I went home to get his things, a favourite toy. When I returned a wonderful Doctor had saved it, & sewn it all back on.

Usually I seem to be good in a crisis, & just go all calm, & deal with things. It is later that I fall apart, & have my cry. After the crisis is all over.

When that same son came off his bike, & badly broke his arm, front teeth, & nearly lost an eye, I coped until the crisis was 'over.' I rode in the ambulance with him, & spoke calmly to him, to try to keep him calm. Later, at home, I fell apart totally.

There were childhood accidents for my daughter also, & I always managed to keep calm. But there are still moments in my life when I seem to be a worried little girl again. Moments when I feel I would like a hand to hold, & a 'Mummy' to guide me along. And moments of teenage pain, relived.

Of course all the good times, when happiness dominated, are part of my being too. And helpless, enraged parts, & helpless giggling parts, or roaring with laughter. My daughter made me laugh in a shopping mall, & I laughed so hard, I couldnt stop. I was doubled up laughing, but now, I cant even remember what it was about. But I still remember the laughter! And people staring, then grinning at my helpless laughter.

And times in school, when a group of us would get the 'giggle bug', & we would be unable to stop. It would seem contagious, & sweep the class. I can still remember a singing teacher we had, who demanded to know what was so funny. None of us could tell her, which made it somehow seem funnier.

(As some comic relief- I read a post on Breed em & Weep yesterday, that reduced me to helpless tears of laughter. I couldnt read for the tears. It is a post called "Return of The Squalor, Redux". Dont read it, if you have an aversion to doggy doo!)

But back to the totalling of me. haha. What I want to know now, is, if all the people I was, are still there, where did the 'shell' go? I looked at my wrist & it seems to have become my Grandmothers. It has had a perpetual bruise on it for about 4 weeks, & just when it appears to be gone, I rebruise it, somehow, & there it is again- grandmother's skin!

I can still feel a little girl, ....but I can never appear a little girl. Or even a young woman. Age sneaks up on you, while you are imagining you are still only 'so&so'.

I dont feel my age, but parts of my body feel plus! Very much plus!

The offending wrist, this morning.

I think it looks worse than it really is. I am left handed, so I guess it gets more use.

It really does feel like a nice day, so I will be off to enjoy it, one way or another.