Man's little blip of a life on the scale of Time seems so insignificant, if viewed in that context.
Yet, how we fret & worry & cry over small things that affect our daily lives. Things we feel are so important, yet seem so paltry if viewed from what I call the "100 year theory."
It all wont matter a damn in a 100 years, & who will care? About small events, small 'slights', small triumphs. Or even large ones?
I think I believe in 'the good you put out, will return to you, somewhere along the course of your life.'
Tragedies that some good people receive, would seem to put the lie to that theory. So I am not sure I am totally convinced.
But I try to live my life with that in mind.
Of course there are often events or happenings that come along to throw you off guard, or catch you unawares.
This is a pic of SIL, with a dog called Rex. When I first met Rex I was in awe of him. A little frightened I suppose. He was such a large dog, & he had mixes of breeds known to be aggressive. Rottwieler, Doberman.
SIL had bred him, from 2 dogs he had owned. Rex was SIL's brother's dog.He was a beautiful, gentle, obedient dog. He lived with DJ & SIL for a while & we had him to stay when they went away. He really was a lovely natured dog. And now, when I see pictures of him, I think he was quite handsome really.
He has gone from this planet now. He lived a good long full life. And he taught me that another fear I had initially had was groundless.
Another fear I had is not one I am proud of, & I dont often speak about it, because I feel so ashamed about it. I was shocked to discover the feelings of fear when I realised how I felt.
GOM's niece has Cerebral Palsy. She was only 18 months old when I first met her. She had bright eyes, & seemed a happy little child. She had surgery to try to improve her walking ability, when she was about 3. She never walked again. It seemed so unfair. And she still seemed such a positive little girl, & so cheerful.
But I watched how her condition destroyed her family life. I watched her little brother suffer in the background. I watched her mother turn into a bitter lonely indignant, & angry, woman, who refused help or friendship. I watched her father tease her, taunt her. Watched her Grandmother suffer ill health because she had her every weekend.
And when I became pregnant & my MIL used to insist on visiting me every weekend, uninvited, & bringing her little disabled granddaughter with her, I hated it. I felt so ashamed. It was not the little girl's fault. But I was so filled with fear that I might have a child so afflicted, I didnt want to see her. I hope I never showed this, to the child at least. She always seemed fond of me, & I was fond of her. But she was not my blood kin. And there was the fear.
And we had a little black cat. I loved him so, but after my son was born, I didnt want him near me. What is that nature does to us, that makes us change in our attitude to some things? I know I am not the only one to feel that way. But I hated it. I wanted to still feel the same about the cat, but I couldnt. I know he knew, because he 'moved house'. We would see him about the district, well fed, & well cared for. And I was glad he had a better life, than I felt I would give him.
As it happened my babies were born healthy. And I burned with shame for having felt such awful feelings of rejection, whole I was pregnant. Unexpected, irrational. Reason told me I was being stupid. But I still couldnt conquer how I felt, no matter how irrational it was.
I never felt or feel that way about strangers. I still wonder that I felt that way when I was fond of that little girl.
As to unexpected treats, my children were/are! They were good looking babies, they grew strong & healthy. They were fun kids to have, they loved their afflicted cousin, with the cerabral palsy. They treated her with love, & respect. They have been a joy to me for all their lives.
And other unexpected treats, are good friends. We had an unexpected treat yesterday of a visit from friends. I love the fun that can result from unplanned get-to-gethers. The laughs, & jokes. The serious 'discussions'.
Some of our 'acquaintances', shall we say, dislike 'dropin' callers. I used to be a bit alarmed if the house was a shambles. Now I couldnt care less. They dont call to see the house. Usually they call to spend time with us. So any unexpected callers are welcomed with open arms- & barking dogs!
