Friday, October 19

The Question of RAGE.

We are all increasingly faced with rage. In our daily life we read of road rage, supermarket rage, parental rage, phone rage.

Who, has not sat, punching in numbers, silently fuming, only to hear another recorded message tell us our further options, of numbers we can punch- & by then it really is punch - to hopefully get to speak with a real live person.

How many times have you been fooled, & begun to speak, only to discover it is yet another recored message! All guaranteed to induce rage. Impotent rage. Short of smashing your own phone, you can't take the frustration out on a recording. It is also, very unwise to take it out on the poor individual who is live, who eventually comes to talk to you.

Then there is the Supermarket queue. The one I join, can almost cosmicly be guaranteed to be the slowest in the whole store. You know the scene, Darlene lazily unhooks the microphone, & loudly proclaims "Price check on reduced items from the Trolley in small goods!!" Everyone cranes their necks to see what shoddy item you wish to purchase, what spotted, mouldy, package, you, in your total *cheapskate* mode have the idiocy to want to purchase.

You stand flashing the idiot foolish grin, & cower, pretending it is ok, you are an 'eccentric'!! You shrivel, as the checkout Charlie or Charlene, says, loudly, "I have never tried 'those' what are they? Everyone cranes again, trying to see what sort of cretin wants to try that, & at a reduced price!! Obviously, risking Salmonella or Botulism, by even risking such marked down items.

It all mounts up, in the rage quota, that lies in the back of your mind.

If you are the male, out there earning the crust, to bring home the bacon! You are upstaged at work. Your PR girl makes snide remarks, - did she mean me?
Was that my tie she was ridiculing by the coffee urn?? What were they all laughing about in Accounts? Why did they stop when I walked in??

It all builds up. The rage quotient. You get home from a hard day at the Bacon slicer, the Accountant office, the hairdresser, the driving range...
Your kids mock you, they take you off, behind your back. Your spouse laughs out of context at something you are trying to tell them.

You get in your vehicle to drive home, after a day's work. That smart arsed little bitch P plater in the lane next to you, zooms off at the lights, & cuts you off!! Red flashes appear before your eyes!! No little tit P plate driver is going to get away with that!! Holy Cow, I have got a Full Gold License, she, on the other hand is barely dry behind the ears! Who does she think she is?? How bloody dare she!

You can't get enraged with the phone service, as it is laughingly, nay jeeringly, referred to. NO!
You can't get enraged with your work colleagues. Hell no! You might have to pay!
You can't take it out on your family. They might see you for the swine/prick you are, deep down.
Hell, keep smiling at the neighbours, dont let them see the rage bubbling away beneath the surface.
No, choke it all down. Smile, be cordial. Be controlled. Be charming.

Be careful though, for out on the highways of your life, you never know when that RAGE is likely to blow!!
You might meet a set of strangers. A golden chance to let it all hang out!! Let it all errupt in a vituperative spewing forth of all the previously carefully contained RAGE.

You can't be so bald faced with family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues.
But by Golly!! You can be anyhow you choose amongst total strangers! You can let the 'sewage' spill.
No one knows you, so it is ok! You can really go for it.

Do you suppose that is how rage builds. That is how rage gets so out of control, people do unspeakable things.
Are they afraid to take off the mask of their respectability, & bare the ugly face or reality, to loved ones or people who 'count' in their lives.

Is all this Urban respecatibility wearing us down. Causing a volcanic overflow of RAGE every now & then?
Should we rethink our social acceptables? Should we allow a good, safe, venting in our family units? An acceptable level of rage venting at work?

Daughter J & I were all for designing a Rage Outlet Centre. We would have padded silent rooms. You could hire them for a nominal fee. We could provide china to be smashed, clothes to be ripped, books to be shredded.. anything the hapless Rage vicitm desired really. We are sure there would be less damage done to families, children, vehicles, should such centres exist. Therapy for Rage.

A healthy outlet for all that pent-up rage, that wont cost a fortune! Or lives.
Or marriages. Or sanity.

I had a visit to our GP. Hopefully, I dont have a cancer.
Also, I was told something very nice, about my health, so it is a good day! Hot, but good!


velcro said...

whoa what's this about a cancer? Meggie are you alright?

Tanya said...

Rage is evident unfortunately in Japan. I have a feeling that is hidden more in this culture than in others. So many emotions played down and masked. Even good emotions. As for the rage, I think the suicide figures in Japan are telling us something.

Joyce said...

Your post makes me glad I live in the country where we see only a couple of cars a day go by. Not much road rage going on here.
Have a wonderful weekend.

ancient one said...

Now for your rage center you have to have doors for us to slam! That's how I go... all through the house slamming every door in sight hard as I can... I usually do this when I am sure I'm completey alone in the house... but you might be on to something there...

Glad you got some good news at the GP and hope it continues to be good forever!!

Tai said...

There are 'clinics' being held in Japan to vent rage. It's good, I guess, but really scary that it's required.

(found you by way of Ian's blog...nice to 'meet' you!)

Mike said...

A certain amount of rage is probably okay. It lets us all know we are human. I think it is how we vent that rage that makes all the difference in the world.

I have a friend that is one of the most rage-full people I know. I get nervous going anywhere with him because he is very likely to "blow" at the least little thing. I try hard to never give into it, but I must admit that certain driving situations can send me over the edge.

Tracey Petersen said...

I don't think that rage has any place - not even a rage centre. It is unhelathy even there. It seems to stem from an unbridled sense of entitlement amongst our society.

I do hope that all is well with you on the medical front.

meggie said...

Hi All, Firstly I dont think cancer is a worry. If it is, I am sure it could be dealt with. It is a skin thing.
As to the comments about Rage.
I dont think it has a place either, in an ideal world. Alas, there are many damaged people out there, who cannot deal with their rage, & turning our faces from it, wont make it go away.
I suspect a lot of enraged people have had sad rage filled childhoods, & are unaware how to deal with such feelings, other than to vent, or take it out on others.
Do you feel anger is ok? Is rage a form of anger, which goes unchecked, or managed. Look at any little two year old toddler. There will be flashes of rage. The lucky ones are taught how to deal with that emotion.
I suggested a 'Rage Centre' to try to prevent some of that rage occuring out in the real world.
Yes, I had heard that Japan has such centres.

Harmany Quilting said...

Meggie, you're a wonder. I always find that a bit of rage is always good, although it tends to bubble up into laughter at the silliness of it all. Whether it be at me or some other clown.

Ali Honey said...

I do know it is not good for your health to bottle it up( could cause the hammer in the back of your head??)I hope your health is okay.....if worried keep getting it checked out. I find rage in other quite imtimidating and embarrasing. I often feel it is being directed at me even when I am assured it is not.

Things that work for me...doing something exhausting like running ( or walking ) very fast or punching cardboard boxes or pounding the trunk of a big tree. If it is the very upsetting kind of rage (at bad news ) standing in the shower and letting it pour over yourself while howling your eyes out is theraputic.

Granny J said...

Isn't rage a result of lack of control over one's circumstances? And don't the "scientists-say" studies indicate that folks who lack control over their circumstances are more likely to suffer many maladies?

Fairlie - said...

There's definitely too much pent-up rage out and about, which unfortunately spills over, often in the most inappropriate of ways.

Perhaps instead of rage centres, we should have some de-stressing centres on every corner, where people can just have a bit of time out to take some deep breaths and count to ten, or have a bit of a chuckle?

ancient one said...

My cancer doctor talked to me about bottling up feelings of anger. He said it is better to get it out than to keep stuffing it down. Most things I handle pretty well, but once in a while a good cry or a scream or slamming that door HARD!! (when no one's around) and telling it to Jesus helps me!!

Ian Lidster said...

So happy your doctor visit went well. A rage centre, I like that idea. Actually, I have a ranting blog coming on; not full-blown rage but just something that really pisses me off.
Otherwise, you know what the worst thing about remote or mobile phones is? You can't slam them down when you are outraged.

Shammickite said...

I keep RAGE at bay by thinking of all the wonderful people I have met, all the nice things that happen to me during the week, and being thankful that I live in a country where it's illegal to carry a gun and there's very little chance of suicide bombers crashing into me while I'm doing my shopping.

Jo said...

Sometimes losing our temper just a wee bit helps to curb the pent-up rage. I have a co-worker who feels she has to micro-manage everything I do. She is just a peer, not a supervisor. I have gone for weeks (months) putting up with her bullsh*t, and finally the other day I lost my temper. I even swore. It was what I needed to do, and it was what she needed. It did the trick. She was shocked, but she backed off.

Sometimes we just need to do that when life gets unreasonably unfair. And then everyone feels better afterwards. :-)

Tanya Brown said...

Oh, goodness. I like your idea of the rage outlet center, and I can understand the idea of people feeling so powerless over various areas of their lives that the frustration just builds up.

I think going there might have to be medically or legally prescribed in many cases, though. I have a suspicion that the people most in need of relief for their rage, the ones who go home and kick dogs or children or spouses, aren't self-aware enough to realize that they're frustrated and are relieving it the wrong way.

Alice said...

Firstly, I hope ALL of the news from the doctor was good.

It certainly seems that there is more rage in the society these days. I wonder why?

On one side we have our 'expected entitlements' in society, and on the other side the growing lack of responsibility for our actions towards others.

Whatever the solution, we often hurt ourselves still more by 'fostering and feeding' our rage, allowing it to distort our perspective on every aspect of life.

Marja said...

That's one of the reasons we left Holland. It's a big rat race full of rage over there. Now we live relaxed. haven't had any colds anymore. A bit of teenage stress I admit but that's it. Unfortunately the roads are getting fuller here as well and the que's longer. Still not as bad as overseas

Lucy said...

Glad you're well Meggie.
You seem to have hit a vein of excellence with your writing lately, whatever the rights and wrongs of raging!

riseoutofme said...

There is a theory that sadness is just anger turned in on oneself rather than released in a positive way. Maybe this is why there are so many deeply, sad people.

Have we evolved so much that we've lost touch with the therapeutic value of released anger?

smilnsigh said...

Yes, all the articles say we shouldn't keep our feelings pent up inside us. But.... how does one manage to 'get them out'?

I guess some people use their hobby, to. I don't really garden, like some do. But I do love to prune renegade vines and the like. Pruning, that's a safe way to "blow off some steam."

And a man I know, says he gets "hammer therapy" out of his projects around the house. That's another way, which is "allowed."

But your Rage Outlet Centre sounds the best. All purpose.

Now, what was the very nice thing you were told, about your health? Come on, we need some nice news. :-)


My float said...

Am glad about the good health news and hoping like heck it's not a cancer.

And sign me up for the rage outlets. Do you get a discount for multiple visits? If not, I might get cranky!!